Whether you’ve recently entered a long-distance relationship, are considering the possibility, or have been separated due to the ongoing pandemic, I’m here to give some advice for how to live your best long-distance life!
A little backstory: My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years now- 2 of which have been primarily long-distance. The switch from being a simple drive away from each other to moving across states wasn’t easy, but it also made the times we did get to see each other that much more special. Although separation from your significant other may seem daunting, I’m here to share the tips and tricks I’ve learned over the years that are key to a healthy and successful LDR.
Communication, commitment, consistency
First up, we have what I like to call The Three C’s! These skills are absolutely vital in ensuring that your partner feels respected and connected to you in your relationship.
Communication can include sending updates over text, checking in with how you’re both doing, or even setting boundaries. As long as you’re letting your partner know what you need from them as a significant other and being open about your experience, there’s a portal for authentic connection and making sure that both of your needs are met.
Commitment and consistency go hand-in-hand. Gaining loyalty and trust in a long-distance relationship can be difficult because of the physical distance between partners, but planning and following through on promises will go a long way in strengthening confidence. Organizing trips to visit each other (if possible) will also make it clear that you’re both willing to put in the effort to show up for each other- literally. Plus, it will give you a fixed time to look forward to.
Understand their love language
As the unique individuals that we all are, everyone gives and accepts love in different ways. Consider asking your partner about their love language; this will give you a better idea of how they want to be cared for and how they enjoy caring for you. This is especially important in a long-distance relationship, since establishing love languages early on can lead to a clearer understanding of each others’ needs in the future.
There are 5 main love languages, each of which is a different way to express or receive love:
- Words of Affirmation
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Personally, I love sending my boyfriend e-gift cards to his favorite restaurants every so often. Even with the distance, this is an easy way to let him know that I‘m thinking of him and understand his appreciation for receiving gifts.
Virtual Dates
Virtual activities are such a fun and engaging way to spend time with your partner! There are innumerable resources for online interaction, including video call platforms, virtual watch party sites, and entertaining games. I’ve found that video calls are an easy and fun way to communicate while long-distance, especially because of the opportunity to actually see your partner. Apps like FaceTime, Zoom, and Skype are all a great way to spend time talking!
If games are more your style, there’s a multitude of websites for virtual gaming. Mario Kart Tour, GamePigeon, and Among Us are just a few of the options I love! One of my favorite websites for virtual dates is Teleparty, which allows you to watch movies and TV synchronously with others on major streaming sites like Netflix, Hulu, Disney and HBO. The chat function makes it easy to interact while the media plays, so it truly feels like you’re watching it together.
Don’t let the stereotypes about LDRs get you down; there are so many happy and thriving long-distance relationships out there! If you’re willing to commit, plan, and communicate with your partner, you can absolutely make it work.