Failing an exam sucks. No matter how many grueling hours you kicked it at Odegaard, no matter how many shots of espresso you downed, no matter how many times you remembered to attend office hours throughout a quarter, or no matter how many precious hours of sleep you lost–sometimes you’re simply left feeling like everything you do will never be enough. In the moment of confronting a failed grade–or even a grade that you weren’t anticipating–it’s easy to feel this way. At a large school like UW, where everyone either seems to be breezing through classes or struggling miserably, it’s important to remember that at some point in time, everyone will fail. Maybe their time won’t come at UW (lucky them!). But for the majority of us, we will all face what my mother likes to call, “our storm”. In her analogy, we are all sailors out in an ocean that is unpredictable. And while it might seem a bit silly to think of UW as a giant turbulent ocean, there is some truth to her comparison. As my roommate reminded me the other night, it’s key to “make a distinction between what was in your control and what was out of your control.”
One failed exam doesn’t automatically mean that you did everything wrong, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t cut out for a certain field, major, or future career, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re not cut out for UW. Exams are meant to be an opportunity to mark what you know; not a measurement for your intellect or self-worth. That being said, the first time I ever failed an exam at UW I was crushed. At the time, I not only took it to heart, but I also began to question everything: my major, my future career, my abilities, my happiness. To make matters worse, it didn’t help that everyone I had studied with appeared to have done just fine–or so they said. As tempting as it may be, I now know the importance of focusing on myself rather than how those around me are doing. Only you can reflect on what happened leading up to the exam and only you can hold yourself accountable for what you did and didn’t do to prepare.
While it may be painful to look back at the time and energy you put in before receiving an undesirable exam score, it’s key for looking towards how you can improve your score next time. Everyone learns differently! Perhaps your prior methods of studying simply needs some alterations to match the course you’re taking. Nonetheless, there will always be a next time. Until then, I have three words of advice: self-care, self-care, self-care! Sometimes an issue is as much internal as it is external. If this sounds like it could be the case for you, I encourage seeking the advice of an academic counselor or trusted friend, making time for things that bring you genuine joy (did someone say yoga?), spending time with people you love (including some “me” time!), and to journal out your feelings at the end of the day. One test doesn’t define your future. As I said earlier, eventually we will all fall in life. What’s funny is that one day you might look back and realize that when you thought you were falling; you were actually just learning how to stand. It was a bad exam, it’s not a bad life.