While many people experience outbreaks of acne during their early teens while going through puberty, I was fortunate to have clear skin. I had never given it much thought until recently a sudden swarm of very red, very big pimples began appearing on my face. Once one leaves, another one joins the pact.
There are thousands of articles online about acne, but it boils down to this: smothering my face with chemicals was not going to work this time. I have to give my skin a break. I have never been the woman with a full face of makeup, but living in Tokyo has slightly changed that over the years. Residing in Tokyo definitely has its perks, but here, seeing a woman makeup-free is like searching for a unicorn. (Exaggeration of course, but often it feels like it.) Even when going to the supermarket or taking out the trash, most wear makeup. I felt the overwhelming pressure to cover up, and with an outbreak, I wanted to bury my new friends under a shit ton of makeup.
I began to wonder why it was so difficult for me to step out as just me, if that’s what I needed to do. Somewhere along the way the line between me and my face has blurred. I had become reliant on a drawn face – a false reality. The fear of other’s judgements like those judgmental looks, people thinking “she doesn’t take good care of herself” and so many more, had taken over me. A fear that honestly doesn’t make sense, for 85% of people, aged between 12 to 24, experience acne at one point of their lives.
The beauty of realisation is the potential for change. It is time to recognise acne is not equal to me, or my value, or my worth. I am just as much me on a makeup free day than on any other. Having acne is merely the reality of. . .being a human.