As a young adult, leaving home and going to college is one of the largest life changes you can make. A new environment, new people, and new expectations can make the transition extremely overwhelming. Trying to jump into an unfamiliar social scene and put yourself out there is a nightmare to most, including myself. There is so much pressure from society to make college “the best four years of your life.” Social media only amplifies that expectation. It feels like everyone is constantly surrounded by friends, going to football games, joining clubs, and building lifelong connections overnight. When you are sitting alone in your dorm on a Friday night, it can feel like you are doing something wrong. Like you missed a memo on how to instantly make friends.
This comparison trap only made my social anxiety worse. I found myself constantly battling the mindset that you only live once, so every moment had to be exciting. But chasing that idea only made me more stressed. I realized that overcoming change and social anxiety was less about transforming into a perfect person and more about becoming comfortable being myself in all situations. Instead of joining clubs just because they seemed popular, I focused on activities I was genuinely interested in. It is much easier to connect with people when you already share something in common.
Like many other students walking across such a large campus or sitting alone in a huge lecture hall often made my social anxiety spike. I would start to overanalyze everything: how I was walking, where I was sitting, whether I looked awkward being by myself. If I asked a “dumb” question in class or stumbled over a word during a presentation, I was convinced everyone noticed and was silently judging me. In reality, most people were probably thinking about their own answers, their own phones, or their own nerves. College has a way of magnifying the fear of what other people think, especially when you are already adjusting to so much change.
Pushing myself out of my comfort zone did not happen all at once. It was not some dramatic change where I suddenly became the most outgoing person in the room. It started with small choices. Sitting next to someone new instead of choosing the empty row. Saying yes to getting coffee with a classmate even when my first instinct was to stay in my dorm. Raising my hand once in a lecture instead of promising myself I would “next time.” Each of these moments felt huge in my head, but in reality they were small steps. The more I practiced being okay with discomfort, the less power it seemed to have over me. I began to understand that confidence is not something you wake up with one day; it is something you build over time. The only way to make social situations less intimidating was to keep showing up to them.
There were still awkward pauses, conversations that got dry, and events where I felt out of place. But instead of taking those moments as proof that I was not good at being social, I started viewing them as normal parts of the process. Not every interaction has to turn into a lifelong friendship. Not every night has to be unforgettable. Sometimes pushing yourself simply means staying five minutes longer than you planned or introducing yourself to one more person. College does not have to look perfect to be meaningful. College is a space designed for growth, and growth rarely happens inside your comfort zone.