When I came to college at 18 years old, everyone around me seemed so caught up with swiping left or right. Phrases like “I’m so lonely” or “Ugh, I wish that was me” were so common in my conversations, and I found myself slipping into that same mindset. I joined the apps, looked at the profiles, and even went on a date. But honestly, I just didn’t care. I love my alone time. I’ve realized that I am not in a place where I am ready to be in a relationship, and that is completely okay. I don’t have to complain that I’m not in a relationship or feel envious of others who are. I am on my own journey. I do not see the point of rushing something that does not feel right. If and when the time is right, there will be someone for me. Until then, I am learning to trust myself and embrace my independence. Being alone does not mean being incomplete.
Growing as an Individual
Rather than focusing on how I can fit in with the dating app trend, I have been focusing on myself. I do not feel the need to rush into a relationship when I still have so much personal growth. Being single is the time to build yourself up as an individual, whether it’s by discovering a new hobby, making new friends, or carving time out for solo trips. The more I grow into myself, the more I feel more secure in setting myself up for a healthier relationship in the future, whenever that may be.
Not Comparing to Others
It is easy to look at someone else and get caught up in the comparisons—seeing everyone coupled up, on romantic dates, or even sharing those cringe-filled, adorable couple pictures. It is important to step back and remind yourself that everyone’s path in life is different, not one path will look the same. I realized there is absolutely no need to measure my worth to someone else’s life journey. What is right for someone else may not be right for yourself. Instead of coveting your neighbor, focus on what you can build for yourself and accept that your path is unique to who you are.
Valentine’s Day time can be difficult when all you do is compare yourself to others. Remind yourself that your journey is your own and everything happens for a reason. Take yourself out on a solo date, whether it is to the bookstore or your local coffee shop. Happy Valentine’s Day. <3