Picture this: a 19-year-old — a whole adult — crying her eyes out for two weeks straight, refusing to get an ounce of Vitamin D from the sun and acting like it’s the end of the world. She goes outside for classes and the brown-sugar shaken espresso, but other than that, she stays in the hole of her bedroom and doesn’t talk to anyone for two weeks. All that goes into her body are Hot Cheetos and an unhealthy dose of coffee.
Totally not me — it was definitely was just the friend of a friend that I’m referring to. Yup.
Anyway, what would you say to this person? Get off your butt and stop being sad, right? That’s basically what I did. The problem I have with every planned thing, like many people, is getting started.
During this time, I started following one of my favorite YouTubers that I used to watch every day in high school: Mai Phammy. I found it incredibly interesting that she would almost routinely wake up at 5–6 a.m. and start her day by meditating, not being on her phone, and just being present in the moment. She would begin her day with intentions and be thankful for the experiences that she had, rather than waking up and scrolling through TikTok in an endless cycle.
To be honest, I was actually jealous. I mean, I wrote an entire article in January that I was going to have this ode and all, yet now, I was so sad and not following anything I had said. The ode had been thrown into the trash.
It was almost like a slap to the face — I was sitting there, crying about something that I can’t control. Why was crying over something that already happened, angry at my past self and wallowing in pity, when I could’ve been actively trying to get better? Did I subconsciously actually like how sad I was and that I was going through [redacted] events?
That’s a whole different conversation, but it’s TL;DR. I found Mai Phammy’s routine inspiring. So, I followed it with four goals in mind:
- Meditate for 15 minutes every morning.
- No phone for one hour before bed and one hour after waking up.
- Journal gratitude in the morning and self-reflection prompts at night.
- Stick to the gym routine (like for real this time).
“In order for something to become a routine, it has to be easily accessible,” says Mai Phammy in one of her 6 a.m. routine vlogs.
Now, some of you reading this are like, “6 a.m.? That’s not bad; imagine 4 a.m.!” All I have to say is, “Yikes… Sorry about that, bestie.” Honestly, it wasn’t even hard for me either; what was hard was not grabbing my phone in the morning or using it before bed. Like one hour? Am I just supposed to stare at the ceiling?
I started on Feb. 15. Let’s just say that that day was tough. I was fighting for my life in the sheets, guys. I was like, “Why am I up right now? I don’t want to be here. I want to sleep and never wake up,” and so on. So, I made my goals simpler that week — wake up, meditate and journal. Simplifying the goals made it a lot easier to do them.
Meditating was something that I never found interest in. I can’t sit still and have the attention span of a goldfish, but I did some research the night before and decided that doing a guided meditation would be a lot more helpful than doing it myself. So, I did. Afterward, I journaled five things that I was thankful for and five intentions I had for the day.
Rinse and repeat for the next three weeks. As time went on and I did it more often, I found myself thankful for the big events that I had to learn from. I was looking forward to getting ready to go to bed at 9 p.m., journaling my day and thoughts for a prompt. I was looking forward to the next morning, excited for what the day would bring.
I found myself going from little things to big things. Writing for my gratitude journal, I found myself thankful for what I went through in January — the thing that had made me go through my flop era. I unintentionally wrote, “I’m so thankful for the experience I had with them. I feel more confident, intentional, and at ease with my standards and expectations. It’s so much easier for me to bring up and not tolerate things from people I like.”
I found my manifestations changing from people and relationships I wanted to things I want to improve in myself. I thought, “I care less what people think about me. I have the courage to speak my truth. I carry myself with confidence. I put myself first,” rather than, “People enjoy my presence. I am well-liked by everyone.” I want to be more confident in myself, speak my mind and not care what others think about me. I want to say what I mean, rather than holding it in and acting like others’ approval is more important than my own.
Also, I forgot how much fun going to the gym was. I had stopped going to the gym in November. I actually stopped doing a lot of my hobbies, but now that I’m forcing myself to go four days a week, I rediscovered my love for cardio. Running and I are best friends now, and since I’m actually lifting — sort of — it’s gotten a lot easier for me to run a mile. My goal is to run two miles straight without crying.
Now, I think it’s important for me to say this: I was 90% consistent. I know I baited you. I’m sorry. I did have a few days where I didn’t meditate, I didn’t journal, and I just went on throughout the day. I think it’s important to remember that if you follow a routine, don’t beat yourself up for days you miss. You will miss some, so just start again the next day. No need to double as much time to “make up for yesterday.” That will just make you resent the entire process in general.
I give waking up at 6 a.m. a 10 out of 10, if you need a routine change. Or, maybe you, dear reader, are also going through it and are desperately trying to start anew. This is your sign to do it. The worst that will happen is after a month, it just doesn’t stick and you hate it. Just try it.
Crazy, right? Who knew going to bed at 10 p.m. and waking up at the rooster’s call really can change your mindset. Don’t get me wrong; I’m still healing. It’s not like all of a sudden — me doing this routine made me invincible and “that girl,” but it’s making me process a lot of emotions way easier than just wallowing in self-pity.
Am I still waking up at 6 a.m. every morning? Yes. Can I stop waking up at 6 a.m.? Probably not, if I’m being honest. I think I’ve gotten too used to sleeping at 10 p.m. every night. Will I try waking up at 5 a.m.? Maybe. I’ve actually been thinking about doing that. Lowkey, it seems fun.