This is such a weird place to be in life. You see those memes about how half of the people your age are only halfway through their academic career, while the other half are already married with kids, dogs and the white picket fence. It was something I found to be somewhat dramatic when I saw them at the beginning of my college career. But now I’m here, graduating college and preparing for my future, and it resonates a little deeper.
There have been multiple points in the last six months that I’ve felt stuck, and as much as I’ve tried to get myself projected forward, it seems like the universe won’t allow it. Every time I attempt to stay positive about an aspect of my life, something comes around and shuts it down the first chance it gets. This can be applied for a multitude of things: jobs, friendships, money, etc. I would be lying if I said it hasn’t felt like a colossal joke before. Why hasn’t this worked out for me? Why did they not think of me when I would have thought of them? How have I worked this hard for no result? There’s a certain situation that arises to your mind when you see these questions, so take my words with you to ease your stress and despair.
It truly does bring me peace to think that everything happens for a reason. I’m about as much of a Negative Nancy as you’ll find, but this is the one mindset that has worked hard to steer me away from those negative thoughts. We’re all destined to end up somewhere — and sure, you have to put in the work to put yourself on that path — but sometimes it’s those unfair rejections that put us where we are meant to be.
I also find it really helpful to try to look at the big picture instead of focusing too long on a small defeat. A single job rejection will never determine the trajectory of your entire future. Your friend not inviting you to one party doesn’t mean your friendship is ruined. If you’re like me and tend to assume worst case scenario, it’s crucial to remind yourself of these things. I repeat it to myself pretty often.
Speaking of which, repeating positive words and affirmations can be super beneficial to keeping you in the right headspace when things seem to be going only wrong. Literally just telling myself “It’ll be okay” 50 times a day has brought a new light into my day-to-day life. My suggestion is try it, and if what you’re saying doesn’t work, try changing the language to best fit your situation and state of mind. “It’ll be okay” won’t work for everyone.
Last, try your absolute best to focus on the now. Focus on today. You’ll never be this young again. Enjoy these worries before another worry comes along that makes your current worry seem small. One day, these worries may seem as nostalgic as they were stressful. I find myself regretting the things I’ve worked myself up about and wasting so much mental energy on things that ended up working out. For example, I almost had a panic attack the second week of school because I was convinced I wasn’t going to pass one of my classes. The class ended up being just fine, just as I should have expected.
It’s hard on our bodies and our souls to constantly battle with our anxieties like this. We have to make that effort to enjoy now because we’ll never get the opportunity to do it again. Sure, we can reminisce, but nobody wants to reminisce on their entire life. Reflect on your days knowing that you lived as presently as you could. Take the time to consider your worries, but don’t let them consume you. By doing this, I truly believe you are more likely to have a life of less regret.
