It is a rite of passage for college students to feel lost and lack confidence in themselves or their futures during their studies. People around you may seem to have it together. They are full of dreams and secure in the path they are paving.
Don’t use other people as a standard.
Now, that’s not to say they aren’t confident, it just might not be to the extent you are comparing your own life to. It is natural to feel unsure of things during a transformational period like college.
You are not behind, no matter what your inner dialogue is tricking you into thinking. Yes, there is always room for improvement, but wherever you are in your life is exactly where you need to be. Don’t allow yourself to stress over hypothetical situations when you could be focusing on genuine experiences. College is a memorable and impactful time for people in varying ways– positive or negative. Humans will always be on different timelines from each other. Life hits us at random stages, so being patient is really all you can do.
How do I speed up this waiting process? What can be done in the meantime? All reasonable questions that I have asked myself, and I’m sure your peers have asked themselves. There is no straightforward response to such complexities so I offer you ways to cope with that confusion.
We already went over the first step: understanding how normal and valid your thoughts are. Be proud of your resilience through everything; that strength is admirable and proof that you are already on the right track. Lean on your family and friends during times like these. They can bring a different perspective to your situation, as they know you best. Now, of course, they can’t solve everything– most of the work to be done is in your hands.
If you feel distant from yourself, make your biggest priority filling that space. Get to know yourself, figure out what sparks your interest and do all the necessary inner work to set a foundation for what’s to come. You will make it out the other side; it just takes time and effort.
However, don’t sit around waiting for life to make sense. Take initiative, even if it’s in small increments. There will always be times of confusion but that is not what defines you. Your actions in response are what define you.