When Thursday afternoon rolls around, there is one question that seems to appear in every college group chat: “What are we doing tonight?”
In college, that question usually doesn’t mean grabbing dinner, watching a movie or exploring somewhere new. It means deciding where to pregame, what to wear and which place everyone wants to go afterward.
I want to make one thing clear: I love going out.
I love getting ready with my friends, taking pictures and spending the night dancing. Some of my favorite college memories have come from nights when everyone was together and no one wanted to go home. This is not an argument against partying or an announcement that I will never go out again.
I simply do not want going out to be the only way I know how to have fun.
College culture can make it seem as though you need to go out every Thursday, Friday and Saturday to prove that you are making the most of your experience. Staying back for a night can make it easy to wonder if everyone is creating memories without you. Social media can further emphasize this already lingering feeling of FOMO: you’ll open Snapchat or Instagram and see crowded rooms, themed outfits and groups of friends posing together. Suddenly, your quiet night feels less like a choice and more like evidence that you are missing out.
Sometimes, the pressure does not even come directly from other people. No one has to tell you that you are bored staying in. The unspoken expectation is often enough.
We hear that college is supposed to be “the best four years of your life,” so there is a strange pressure to make every weekend exciting. It can feel like declining plans means wasting the limited time we have here.
But going out three nights every week is not the only way to have fun or social college experience.
Some weekends, I genuinely want to go out. Other times, I would rather get dinner with a smaller group, have a movie night or go to bed without setting an alarm to start getting ready. That does not mean I suddenly dislike having fun. It just means that fun does not always have to involve a pregame.
In fact, some of the best college memories happen during the plans that initially sound ordinary.
They happen when a quick coffee run turns into a two-hour conversation. They happen during late-night food trips; spontaneous Target runs and afternoons spent wandering around downtown. They happen when everyone attempts to cook dinner together, even if no one really knows what they are doing. They happen at football games, farmers’ markets, workout classes, study breaks, and movie nights where everyone talks through the entire movie.
At Virginia Tech, there are so many things to do that don’t require waiting until nighttime. You can walk along the Huckleberry Trail, explore downtown Blacksburg, visit the farmers’ market, attend a campus event or take a short trip somewhere nearby. You can try a new restaurant, host a themed dinner, go thrifting or convince your friends to do something slightly embarrassing, like karaoke or a game night.
Not every plan needs to be elaborated. Sometimes, the best alternative to going out is simply gathering in someone’s apartment and seeing where the night goes.
Finding other things to do can also create a different kind of connection. It is difficult to have a meaningful conversation while shouting over loud music. When you spend time with friends in quieter settings, you learn more about them—and they learn more about you.
You begin to build friendships around more than weekend plans.
It is also okay to admit that constantly going out can be exhausting. Between classes, assignments, jobs, internships and campus organizations, college students already have packed schedules. Adding three late nights every weekend can make Monday feel like something you need to recover from instead of the beginning of a new week.
Resting does not mean you are antisocial. Turning down plans does not mean you are bored. Wanting a different kind of night does not mean you are doing college incorrectly.
I am learning that I can love going out without wanting to do it all the time. I can enjoy a crowded dance floor one weekend and be just as happy watching a movie with my friends next. Those preferences do not contradict each other.
The real goal should not be to go out as often as possible. It should be to spend your college years doing things you genuinely enjoy with people you care about.
College is already short enough without wasting part of it trying to prove that you are having fun.
So, the next time someone asks, “What are we doing tonight?” The answer does not always need to begin with a pregame. Maybe it is dinner, a game night, a late-night drive or an evening spent doing absolutely nothing.
And sometimes, that is exactly the kind of college night you need.