For a couple of months now, I have been in a deep funk. I wake up, attend Zoom university, and occasionally leave my apartment to get food. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to and no excitement in my life. Yes, I hang out with a couple of my close friends, and don’t get me wrong; I love and appreciate my gals to no end. But at this point in the pandemic, things have gotten quite repetitive. In a bid to pull myself out of this funk, I sat down and tried to pinpoint the cause of my listlessness. While there was no single cause, I was able to boil it down to the lack of foresight in my life.
I have always been a planner. I plan out my life in excessive details regarding my post-grad plans, my travel plans, and what internships I want to apply to. The pandemic abruptly ended all of that, and everyone had to put their life on pause. That was okay until the semester started up again. Suddenly, I was expected to resume living my life, except everything has changed, and I don’t recognize my world anymore. I plan because I like being in control, and the pandemic ripped that away from me. I decided that since I cannot make big plans for my life right now, I should opt for making small plans to give myself something to look forward to and to give myself a sense of agency over my life. And that is how I came to the decision that I should myself on dates regularly.
While it seems so silly, it has had a monumental impact on my mood. I do this twice a week on Wednesday and Friday mornings. I do my makeup and my hair and put on a pretty outfit. It’s so cliché, but it’s true: when you look good, you feel good. There’s something empowering about dressing up and putting effort in yourself for yourself. Then, I take myself out to a brunch or coffee place. To add a bit of excitement back in my life, I try new food places and locally-owned restaurants to push myself out of my comfort zone. Instead of bringing my food back to my apartment, I eat at the establishment or in a park.
For the longest time, I hated eating alone in public because I felt like a loser and that everyone was judging. The truth is, no one is judging you because no one really gives a sh*t. Everyone is too caught up in their own lives to care that a stranger is eating alone. I also try to go places a little farther from my house to get in my steps and enjoy my surroundings. I’ve come to the realization that these little dates are a way for me to treat myself, go outside and enjoy my life beyond the confines of my apartment. It has given me something to look forward to and gives me a sense of accomplishment because it is a form of self-care.