“What do you use on your face?”
“Are you wearing make-up?”
“You have such beautiful skin.”
These were only a few of the compliments I took for granted before acne took away my confidence. I never thought it would happen to me. There were no warning signs or red flags. Big red blotches took over my face one section at a time. I tried every product under the sun. Some worked until I began to see results, and then stopped. Some would leave my skin dry. Others only made the acne worse. I remember watching Proactiv commercials and wondering how anyone’s skin could ever get that bad. Showing my bare face was beyond embarrassing. God forbid I ever left my house without any make-up on. Maybelline BB Cream (deep sheer tint) was my shield for almost a year. While it made me feel better about my skin visually, I still wasn’t myself and it was obvious. I don’t know if it was my lack of photo-taking for almost a year or if it was the way my acne was still very much visible underneath all 3-4 layers of make-up. Hidden behind a face full of acne and a few thick coats of BB cream was the real me. The real me never went one day without taking a selfie. The real me could fall asleep whenever I wanted to because I never had to worry about jumping out of bed to wash off my make-up. The real me never ruined a white shirt. The real me was beautiful and I wanted to be that person again so bad. After losing all hope for a cure, I did some soul-searching. I looked myself dead in the face and accepted my flaws. I was looking for a form of perfection that didn’t exist and I couldn’t expect to feel beautiful until I found the true beauty that I still had within. It took longer than it should have for me to realize that it never left.
In January of my senior year of high school, I had officially been struggling with acne for almost an entire year. A new and improved version of myself no longer had a problem showing off my bare face and was finally getting used to a face full of acne when my mother got me an appointment with a dermotologist. Because I had already been seen by a dermotologist before that did absolutely nothing for me; I only went to this appointment because of my mother’s insistenece. However, if I hadn’t, I’m not sure how much worse my acne would have gotten. Dr. McElroy gave something back to me that had been gone for too long – my happiness. After all, there is a difference between coping with something and truly being happy with it.
She prescribed me an oral acne medication that I was to take twice a day, a topical gel to be applied twice a day, CeraVe foaming facial cleanser to be used twice a day, and Purpose moisturizer with SPF to be applied when needed. I took 3 photos a day. I took one of my forehead. I took one of the left side of my face and I took one of the right side of my face. After a few weeks, those big red blotches became not-so-big red blotches. After a few months, the blotches grew even smaller. I had my second appointment with Dr. McElroy three months after my first. She was amazed. My doctor took me off of the oral medication and put me on a topical acne solution and a medicated skin bleaching cream to get rid of dark spots. Being that I haven’t seen Dr. McElroy since the middle of my senior year, you can imagine how excited we’re both going to be this Thursday when I tell her how much happiness she helped me re-gain. I don’t know how I could ever thank her enough for what she did for me. Not only did this experience teach me about the beauty of imperfection, but it also taught me how to be happy again, and that’s a lesson that I’ll never forget.
February 2015 September 2015