Over the holiday break, I purchased and participated in a 14-day colon detox that I bought on Amazon. An invisible, health conscious spirit must have been whispering in my ear because I otherwise do not know what possessed me to do such a seemingly dumb thing. To make matters worse, I chose to begin the detox on Christmas Eve morning. Don’t ask me why.
Fortunately for my lack of planning, though, this particular detox wasn’t too aggressive. In fact, it was almost pleasant at some moments. (Because, spoiler alert: nothing dramatic really happened!)
I examined the package when it arrived. It contained a giant pill bottle – the biggest pill bottle I have ever seen in my life. Think fish oil tablet bottle, but then increase it in size by at least three. The pills themselves were huge, too. They were about the length of half my pinky finger, and twice as thick. The pills’ clear coating encased something that appeared to be papery mush in the most unpleasant light brown color that you could imagine. “Oh, what fun,” I remember thinking to myself.
Full disclosure – Due to issues with my birth control, I started off my winter break weighing the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life. On top of my weight, I was constantly feeling tired, bloated and rarely felt like doing anything at all, unless it was sitting on my couch watching Netflix. My normal bodily functions were out of whack, I was emotional and I was desperate. So, when my friend suggested I try a colon detox after her success with one, I jumped at the chance. What could go wrong, right?
Rather than going into it blind, I researched colon detoxes in detail. Overall, it seems like they are only meant as a temporary solution to a longer-lasting problem. They can’t prompt you to magically be healthy, lose lots of weight or really anything else that might seem “too good to be true.” What they can do, though, is offer you some relief for any food processing issues you might have.
The one I chose to use was totally organic, meaning that it was comprised of only natural ingredients made to “get things going,” if you’re picking up what I’m putting down. If you’re vegetarian or vegan and are doing something similar, I think organic is the way to go. Be warned, too, some detox pills use gelatin (an animal product) as a coating, so be sure you check the ingredients before you buy – don’t just assume something isn’t made with animal products!
Once I received the product, I took the pill immediately. Next, I drank a full bottle of water to help it along. Then, I waited. I didn’t notice any change until the following morning. I woke up with a slight stomach ache and a significant need to use the restroom. It wasn’t anything urgent, but in that moment, I could definitely tell what that giant, brown colored pill was designed to do.
And that’s pretty much how the process went for the entire two week period. I took the pill each night and it did its magic when I woke up. I had zero side effects. Honestly, though, I also noticed zero change. Sure, it seemed to work while I took it, but afterwards I had the same health problems that I’d had at the start of the whole thing. I was unimpressed. My research, I realized, proved to be correct.
So, what have I learned from this experience? I’ve learned that if I truly want to see results, I should probably not have bought the cheapest detox I could find on Amazon. And, I learned that I need to be smarter about my health. Rather than doing what I did, I recommend that you consult your healthcare provider about what detox methods are best for you. Or, consider trying a non-pill based cleanse!
Good luck!