Break-ups suck. Now, they pretty much always suck, even when you’re leaving a relationship that may be toxic, but they especially suck during a pandemic. With break-ups prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, there were a ton of ways you could distract yourself from the heartbreak like going out with friends, traveling, going shopping and even hooking up with other people. However, doing pretty much all of those things now will potentially put your life at risk, so after a break-up, you’re pretty much just forced to stay at home all day. The situation can feel really lonely, and you may even be tempted to reach out to your ex just because you’re used to leaning on them when times are hard, but I’m here to tell you that’s not a good idea. You are fully capable of moving on, experiencing personal growth and even finding a more suitable partner during this pandemic.
I wish it was simple to just stop caring about someone. If only feelings were just something you could turn off and on at will. It’s really difficult to lose someone who was once such a big part of your life, especially if you can’t even picture your life without them in it. But not all relationships are permanent, and some people are just meant to play a small role in your life in the grand scheme of things. Just because you aren’t meant to be with someone doesn’t mean they didn’t serve a purpose in your life. They may have entered your life to teach you a lesson or help you figure out what you truly are looking for in a partner.
The first step to moving on is accepting the decision you made. You may have envisioned every aspect of your future with that person in it, but it’s never too late to reimagine your future. Think about what you want, focus on the goals you still hope to achieve and lean on your friends or family for comfort. The main thing is just acknowledging the role your partner used to play in your life and accepting that they no longer play that role. Focus on the reasons that the break up was probably for the best to make yourself feel better. If you need to, write out a list of all the reasons that the break up was for the better and look at it every now and then.
The second step is to stop thinking about them all the time. Now, this step is kind of complicated, especially since we have way too much time on our hands being stuck inside all day, but it’s still possible to accomplish. It’s not something you can consciously decide to do, but with time it will become easier. Start by distracting yourself by spending time with other people, doing some of your hobbies or watching some of your favorite shows. Focus on self-care and pamper yourself a bit to relax. Whip out the face masks and have a nice bath if you wish! Just do other things that will allow you to enjoy yourself and forget temporarily about the problems ailing you. Eventually, you won’t have to try to distract yourself, and you just genuinely won’t have them pop into your mind all the time.
The third step is to boost your confidence a bit! You definitely should not allow yourself to rely on a partner for validation, but even those with a healthy sense of self-worth can have their ego bruised by a break-up. So to help with this, you should get dressed up and then have a photoshoot with your friends! It will be super fun, and seeing the cute photos of yourself will uplift your spirits and confidence. You don’t even have to post them on social media if you don’t want to—the most important thing is that you look in the mirror or at the pictures and feel good about yourself. You are perfect and so worthy of love, and it doesn’t hurt to remind yourself of that fact every now and then.
The final step is to prepare yourself to enter into a healthy relationship in the future. Analyze what went wrong with your past relationship and accept the ways you may have contributed to its failure. Learn from your mistakes and transform yourself into the person you want to be in the future. Just jumping into another relationship or hooking up with a bunch of other people usually causes more problems in the long run because you haven’t taken the time to work through your own issues. So, flourish and grow, then put yourself back out there once you truly feel ready! With the current climate getting back out there mostly entails getting on dating apps, and we know the success rate with that isn’t very high—but it’s worth a try. If you’re meant to meet someone, the universe will find a way, even in the midst of a pandemic!