Q: I think I have depression, but it’s something that I absolutely cannot talk to my parents about. What can/should I do?
Hey babygirl,
Depression is super difficult to deal with, especially on a college campus, where it’s very easy to feel isolated, or to isolate yourself intentionally because of your symptoms. It’s important to know that you are loved unconditionally, even though at the moment, it doesn’t feel like it. It is important to also realize that you are not alone. There are so many resources on this campus that can help you, so you don’t have to bottle everything up; don’t be ashamed.
Take it from us. We’ve both been there and we’ve found so many means through which you can get help. The counseling center is located on the top floor of the commons across the hall from the piano, by the ballroom. You don’t have to make an appointment, just walk in and someone will direct you to the assessment test and assign you to a counselor.
As far as parents go, it’s natural to feel like you can’t talk to them about this, but don’t feel like you’re lying to them either. And more than anything, don’t let that stop you from seeking help. Both of us writing to you went through that and although we experienced different reactions from our families, the most important thing that we learned was to seek help.
For me, I was raised in a family that didn’t really talk about depression or anxiety; we just pretended it didn’t exist even though it seemed to haunt me nearly every day my senior year of high school. Whenever I tried to talk to my parents, they just brushed it off and told me to stop crying or being dramatic, and that’s what I tried to do. When I came to VCU, I kept that same mentality until I realized I just couldn’t do it anymore. I sought help at University Counseling Services. For about two months, I met with a counselor on a weekly basis, and eventually I got the courage to tell my parents. Even though they were surprised, they were not angry. In the end, I was still their daughter and they loved me no matter what.
It was a little different for me. In my household, mental illness doesn’t exist, period. If you’re feeling off in any way, it meant either you weren’t trying hard enough, or you weren’t trusting God enough. Every time I would approach a family member about the way I was feeling (whether it was my mother, my brother, an aunt or a cousin), I was told to either suck it up or pray it away. Faith is nothing without work. No matter how strong your faith is, you still have to be proactive in order to see results. During my freshman year, I eagerly took advantage of the resources provided on campus. I visited the campus counseling office, I got a therapist, I even went through a psychoanalysis. All of these services are provided confidentially and free of charge, and we highly encourage you to use them to your advantage.
There are so many resources on this campus for you to take advantage of, so don’t be afraid. Some of them are linked below with descriptions. Check them out for yourself and see what works best for you! Stay strong and be kind to yourself.
Links:
- University Student Counseling- 804-828-6200
- Depression Handout
- VCU’s Self-Help Guide
- Stress Handout
Q: Am I the only one who thinks the Stat courses here are useless? Or at the very least, poorly taught?
No, I’m sure you’re not alone in thinking that the Statistics courses are useless. While there isn’t a club dedicated to how much Stats is poorly taught, there are several resources available to help you that can help even if you have the worst professors on the planet. (side note: before registration, check ratemyprofessor.com to find someone more suited to your learning style)
Several Stats classes (including 208) have help sessions before major tests. Check your syllabus or ask your professor to refer you to these sessions. If you have a TA or any SI sessions, they can be incredibly helpful even if you think what you’re asking is a “dumb” question (which doesn’t exist). Your professor would probably love to talk to you one-on-one during office hours for any questions you may have, plus this is a great way to have him recognize you in class and know you put in the extra effort.
Nothing helps you make friends faster than walking out of a confusing lecture and asking “did anyone else not get that?” Form a study group with these people and help each other understand what your professor may not have explained thoroughly (or at all).
The advising office offers drop-in tutoring on all subjects and the tutors there are happy to help with any questions you may have. Try and get as much help as you can soon, because Stats is one of those subjects where if you don’t understand it from the beginning, you’ll be lost for the rest of the semester (trust me). You don’t want to end up retaking it, so even if you have the worst professor at VCU, imagine having another semester of stats with him. If that’s not incentive to try and understand, I don’t know what is.