I’m sincerely not implying you should change who you are. I’m simply saying I believe alone time is needed, but some people may tend to use constant isolation as a barrier between themselves and others. This isn’t to be confused with becoming introverted; being closed off for the purposes of this article refers to purposeful personal isolation, guarding almost all aspects of yourself. When you’re too closed off there are potentially a ton of opportunities you’re missing, as well as learning experiences or experiences to which would help you grow. It could hinder romantic relationships and cause friendships to slowly taper off. Becoming a more open person is not in any means an easy task. Sometimes the reason for isolation could be because you’ve gotten to a place where you can’t deal with the emotions that come to the surface when trying to be social. There was something, a life event or someone who made you so uncomfortable with sharing who you really are with others. So here are a few ways that may make becoming more open a little easier.
1. Journaling
Trying to figure out why you’re closed off is the first step of moving on into something new. Journaling is amazing because once you begin writing there really is no end to it. You can write about anything and everything. Learn how to get comfortable enough to write things that are scary, down on paper (for your eyes only). Sometimes journaling can be extremely therapeutic. Put on your favorite calm playlist, grab some colorful pens, a cute little journal and spend some time for yourself to figure out some personal things. You’re worth it. Also, they are interesting to look at later on!
2. Spend more time in public spaces
Make small talk, talk about the weather. The goal here isn’t at all to get up close and personal, it’s to get you used to creating conversation again. If that’s too much for you right now, start small. Begin hanging out in public spaces. Go to the library, or read a book at your local coffee shop versus at home in bed. Getting used to being outside of your house/dorm/apartment is imperative. After this you may start finding it easier to talk to people more.
3. Make a legitimate effort to maintain current relationships.
Whether these relationships are platonic, romantic or familial, give them a call. Maybe you’ve been distancing yourself from your family, or you’ve been avoiding your friends. Society today shows how cool it is to flake on your friends and sleep. While this is okay if you’re exhausted or sick, this isn’t something that’s okay to make into a pattern. Your friends will keep trying for awhile and usually your family will try harder for even longer to get you to open up. Eventually it comes down to you to start reaching out. Reaching out to an old friend to grab lunch. Romantically, I wouldn’t stress on too much unless you’re currently involved with someone. If you are involved with someone (and they aren’t the root of your isolation) and they sense you drifting, communication is key. Explain to them why you’re being distant, let your SO know it isn’t their fault. Now, if they are some of the reason, maybe you have more to think over than you originally thought.
4. Always remember there are more resources.
If this is an issue for you and you can’t seem to figure it out on your own, understand that it’s okay. It’s not okay however, to want to be alone all the time and it is probably time to get some help for it. Whatever your reasoning for this issue is, it is valid. Feeling emotions as they come are actually really important. Sometimes those very emotions can really become too much, or we could start feeling them at a higher level than we should. This is usually when seeking help would be ideal. Whether it’s university counseling services, a priest/pastor, off-campus counseling– maybe it’s time to get help.
The truth is, everyone needs a little guidance on something, it becomes an issue when it goes ignored.