It may be one of the hardest times of your life or it may be one of the most liberating times. Regardless, there are a few rules of thumb for every guy and gal experiencing a breakup to follow. Making your own life easier for you is your number one priority when your significant other is no longer significant. The first few days—and weeks—will be really hard, but it doesn’t have to be horrible.
Reading old posts/texts
Don’t you wish that your phone magically knew when you were trying to move on? If you have a mile-long thread of messages with your ex, then there are probably some pretty great conversations to reflect on. So IF you can find the strength to delete them then do so, but if you’re a message hoarder like me then at least, use your spirit of self-control and DON’T take that stroll down memory lane
Stalking their social media
You don’t necessarily have to go the extreme and block or delete them from every social media that you use, but take steps toward ignoring their presence on those particular sites. Don’t go looking for their status updates or whereabouts on Snapchat; just allow them to do them while you do you. This is clearly one of those things that seem a tad far-fetched, but it’s a crucial part of a separation.
(If you have trouble with #1 or #2, simply bring your most ruthless friend on board and have them do it! It won’t be fun for you, but they will likely love doing it)
Contacting them
Please refrain from contacting them at any point especially within the first few weeks. Don’t send them old pictures or any “remember when” paragraphs, don’t call them when you’re lonely and sad or drunk and emotional, don’t give in when you want to send your daily, caring message to them or tag them in a meme. Just don’t do it. You have to start shrinking their role in their life and the sooner you do that, the better the breakup will feel (kinda)
Exposing vulnerability to them
It may seem like you’re just being honest and transparent, but you’re actually opening doors for even more hurt to come in! Chances are that if you’re hurting then they are feeling something similar too, so there’s no need to clue them in on exactly what it is you’re thinking when you’re thinking it. Crying to them and letting them know just how much you’re struggling won’t do anything but put you in a vulnerable state. It’s okay for them to see you effected by the breakup, but don’t go out of your way thinking that sending them on a guilt trip will make anything better.
Whether it was you that did the walking away or even the other person, a breakup is a breakup. Each situation is different, but the common denominator among them all is that there is an opportunity for growth on both ends. Don’t let the breakup have power over you, you need to have power over the breakup!!
HCXO!