I Hooked Up With My Ex's Best Friend, & Here's How It Went Down (and Made Me Feel)

When I was going through one of my biggest heartbreaks, I didn’t know how to deal. I tried the whole unfriending, unfollowing, blocking thing on social media, but after a few months of trying that my heart still hadn't recovered. I was longing for the feeling to feel… well, something. I wanted the feeling of loving someone again and for someone to love me again. My ex-was happily in a new relationship, while I was left wondering where did things go wrong. I had felt a mixture of emotions: sad, angry, hurt, and confused.

People say the heart heals within time, but I had waited long enough. I was ready to take things into my own hands. Around that time, my ex’s best friend had been hitting me up. I had always thought he was cute, but I had made a rule for myself a long time ago which was to never hook up with an ex’s friend…. never ever. Being desperate for my heart to be restored, “never say never” was the motto. We started texting frequently, he flirted, I flirted back, and the sexual tension had built up from there. When he had initiated plans to hook up, I was hesitant at first. I felt like a cheater, a betrayer, a morale breaker. Hooking up with an ex’s friend was just not normal behavior for me.

But then I thought about how happy my ex-was with his new significant other and how I should be happy too. I had spent months being upset about our failed relationship, so I agreed to hook up with my ex’s best friend. Suddenly, I started to feel excited. I mean, I was hooking up with my ex’s best friend who I’ve always admired. He had all the good qualities my ex-had: charming, smart, outgoing, smooth talker, funny, cute, and had a nice body.

When he finally came over, it was kind of awkward at first. We had always been just friends and nothing more. We started talking about college life for about ten minutes before he had made his first move on me. We got to making out, touching, and ripping each other clothes off when suddenly I got a big… or should I say small surprise. See, the thing was that my ex-was pretty big down there. I thought because my ex’s best friend shared the same good qualities as my ex, he would possibly have the same d*ck size as him… or be at least bigger.

I was so disappointed that I wanted to kick him out, but I didn’t want to be a bitch so I just proceeded to hook up with him. After, I didn’t feel sexually satisfied. Instead, I felt like a stupid loser. I thought by hooking up with my ex’s best friend, it would be like hooking up with my ex. My ex-was long gone and his best friend was the only thing I had left of him. I guess I just wanted to feel like I was getting back together with my ex. It had taken a few more months for my heart to recover from my failed relationship. But it wasn’t another guy who helped mend my broken heart… it was time. Time had healed my broken heart.