- Avocado Heating Pad – $40
If you are a friend of this fruit and a fan of guacamole, I highly recommend purchasing this product. The main reason being anybody who suffers from periods needs a heating pad on standby for the worst of cramps. Second, I and others have tested this product and can confirm its ability to alleviate pain from cramps, a sore tailbone, aching back, etc. Additionally, the product is claimed to be stuffed with buckwheat and lavender, resulting in an incredibly soothing aroma. One review from Emily P. (a verified purchaser of the product) says, “He’s cute and he’s practical. Good size for [the] abdominal area, or somewhere of similar size…” (Amazon.com).
- Plush Uterus – $18
You know the expression ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer.’ Well, if a vital reproductive organ can qualify as an enemy. And if it doesn’t make the best snuggle buddy, it can be a great contender for a makeshift punching bag! Several reviews for the product recommend purchasing this plush for anybody post-hysterectomy during their recovery time. Amazon user T. Larkins shared in her review, “It’s very cute, and also helped me explain to my 7 y/o what mommy’s surgery entailed. And it was handy for holding against my stomach when I needed to get up or cough or change positions” (Amazon.com).
- Period Coloring Book – $7
If you needed a tranquil activity to distract you from how much your body hates you, this book should do the trick! This 46-page paperback includes 20 mandala designs and “period problems” anybody can relate to and color in at their leisure. Though it only has a total of two reviews, both are five stars and (in my opinion) worth every penny. But if you are feeling especially infuriated with your lady parts, the same company also released an “NSFW Sweary Edition” of the book, which also holds a five-star rating. Currently, both books are priced at $6.99 and come with Prime shipping.
- A “Super Discrete” Tampon Pouch – $13
Because who hasn’t been a friend in need of a vampire teabag? I would especially recommend this for people who are prone to random spotting or have irregular period cycles. Not only is this bag super cute, but its contents could also one day save your favorite pair of jeans!
- PMS Chocolate Bar – $12
Anyone who has suffered a period knows how desperate a sweet tooth can be, especially the company MOODYGIRL. They understand the hardships PMS can have, and have manufactured a dark chocolate bar specifically designed to alleviate common PMS symptoms. Even better, this chocolate is completely natural and said to be composed of “only 3 Vegan, Gluten-Free, and Paleo ingredients – Cacao, Cacao Butter, and Unrefined Coconut Sugar – plus vitamins for kicking PMS symptoms…” (Amazon.com). I have yet to test this product for myself but judging from the 4.5-star rating it currently holds on the site, my standards are already set high for this one.
- P.M.S. Shirt – $20
What better way to send the message across than by printing it on a shirt? Save all of the small talk and useless chit-chat you are far too cranky to have and throw this top on instead! Are you planning on staying in? This is the perfect thing to lounge bra-less in while watching sad movies and snacking endlessly. Flaunt your new statement piece, or keep it to yourself. Your inner Satan will feel acknowledged in any of the ten color options and six sizes.