Why It's Important to Get Rid of Toxic Friends

Your friends can be your biggest support system and are some of the most important people in your life. That is why it’s so important to make sure they’re actually genuine friends! Unfortunately, I got lured into the trap of a toxic friendship.

 

Beginning in Grade 9, for three and a half years, I wasted my time being friends with someone who clearly didn’t want to be my friend, was toxic, and sneaky. At first it was great. We were best friends and always had a great time together. About a year and a half in though, I started noticing that this girl wasn’t the person I knew anymore. She would talk about me behind my back to my other friends, create drama for herself and others, and act fake. However, I continued to be around her because I hung out with her and two other girls; we were a foursome of best friends and I still liked the other girls. A while later the other girls started feeling the same way I did. Through drama and gossip we stuck it out until prom. By then it was pretty obvious that we didn’t want to be friends with her anymore, and her us. We had also grown close with another girl from our school who pretty much took her spot in our group. After prom it was such a clean breakup… we just stopped talking. No fights, no more drama, it was amazing.

 

Ever since then my friends and I have been so happy. We all get along, we feel accepted, and we’re real friends. It was amazing how drama-free the whole process was but we’re so thankful that we can have fun and not have to worry about hiding things.

 

Signs of a toxic friend that I’ve noticed are gossiping about you behind your back, manipulating you to see things and do things their way, judging you rather than accepting you for everything you do, supercritical, and untrustworthy. If you suspect you have a toxic friend the sooner you can cut them from your life, the better.

 

Keeping in mind that my experience happened during my transition from highschool to university, it was a little easier to distance myself from this toxic friend. Some strategies for ditching toxic friends that worked for me and my friends were:

  • Start distancing yourself early: be civil, but don’t go out of your way to be nice to or be around the person. The earlier you can start the process the better.

  • Don’t retaliate: it’s pretty enticing to give people a taste of their own medicine, but it’s much better to just leave it. I don’t mean to let people walk all over you, but it helps the situation stay drama free

  • Reach out: like I said, your friends are your biggest support systems. Reach out to them with your feelings. Being in this situation can be emotionally draining, and it’s not good to keep everything bottled up

  • Be open and honest: in my case it was a mutual feeling so there really wasn’t any discussion about the situation. However, if the situation arises I have every intent to be open with the person about why I can’t have them in my life anymore. Being honest is always the best way to go.

 

Some awesome exit strategies can be found at this link: https://www.bustle.com/articles/85987-6-ways-to-cut-a-toxic-friend-out-of-your-life-for-good

 

The point of this story is about why you need to ditch toxic friends. I found myself hiding things, bottling up my emotions, and becoming reclusive because I didn’t want to be involved with her. I lived my life around her and it shouldn’t have been like that. Toxic friends can drain you and alter your life significantly. They can be detrimental to your health too! Near the end of our friendship I found myself constantly stressed out, worried, and anxious around her. I needed to vent my emotions because I was so angry with her. Getting rid of a toxic friend was the best thing I’ve done. My emotions and spirits lifted almost immediately. My anger has passed now, and I feel happy and comfortable with my amazing group of friends now. I’m so happy with how things worked out for us.