I have often thought about our tendency to dehumanize people we do not like. There are examples of this everywhere online, but I would like to keep this at a personal level. I am sure we have all experienced a moment of extreme anger towards another person, where it feels like there’s something internally wrong with them, because otherwise, there is no explanation for the choices they make. Although this is not inherently dehumanizing, it creates an “us versus them” mentality, where we falsely assume that because someone is bad, we must be somewhat better. . In other words, it’s almost as though you are drawing a line in the sand, with you on one side and the other person on the opposite side. What interests me most about this divide is how final it seems.Â
As human beings, we are generally not big fans of change. We like consistency and stability. So once we decide that someone is on the opposite side of the line, we want it to remain that way and keep it that way by trying to distance ourselves. The last thing you want to do is find a similarity between yourself and someone you hate, but drawing a divide based on differences alone is very dangerous. By ignoring your similarities, you lose the opportunity to grow.
I firmly believe that people are mostly good, and that it is easier for us to be good than bad—that’s why we feel good after helping others. It isn’t out of selfishness; it is because, as humans, we are empathetic and loving creatures meant to do good for others. However, please do not mistake my optimism for naivety. I know some people are capable of more bad than good. The point of this article is not to say that everyone is good all the time, nor that there is no such thing as a bad person. The purpose of this article is to articulate how I view morality in people. Instead of thinking of someone as a bad person, think of them as someone who does more harm than good. This type of thinking helps shift your perspective of that person, and, returning to my previous metaphor, blurs that line in the sand. When we accept that there are no bad people—as there are no good people, only people who do good and bad things—we can stop distancing ourselves from everyone. People are complex, they are capable of so much good and so much bad. That person you hate? You may share some characteristics or qualities, and that is okay. After all, people as a whole have more similarities than differences, and that is something to celebrate, not fear.