Depending on your relationship status, Valentine’s Day is either the best or the worst day of the year. If you’re fortunate enough to be in a loving relationship, this can be an enjoyable holiday to spend some special time with your significant other, but if you happen to be single, it can be a cruel time of the year that can remind you how lonely you are. For some people, the Valentine’s Day blues can be so intense that their mental health is negatively affected. Suicide rates tend to rise during this romantic season, and if you feel a decline in your mental health this Valentine’s Day, do not be afraid to seek help. But in my opinion, the concept of celebrating love has been simplified to only romantic love; other types of love, such as self-love,platonic or familial love, are often regarded as second-class.
In recent years, self-care has been trending in the form of face-masks and bubble baths, and while these are great little acts of relaxation, I believe that true self-care can go deeper than this. If you find yourself single and longing for a relationship, I suggest that you begin to nurture a relationship with yourself this Valentine’s Day by really diving into some serious self-care. This kind of self-care may not be as necessarily enjoyable as the traditional bubble bath asit sometimes involves doing some things you don’t really want to do. But I assure you, you will benefit in the long haul. You may be unsure of what these acts of self-care look like, so allow me to delve into some possible methods of rigorous self-love. I would also like to preface this by saying that while I meant to write this for people who will be single this Valentine’s Day, those who do have partners are still encouraged to practice these self-loving gestures. Remember, self-care shouldn’t end when you enter into a romantic relationship
Exercising: I get that it’s easier to spend those extra few minutes in bed before class, but even jogging in place for 5 minutes or doing 10 pushups when you wake up can change your day. We’re living in very stressful times so it is understandable that working out probably isn’t your top priority, but finding some time to move around (even a little bit!) can reduce stress.
Taking a break from social media: There probably isn’t a more performative holiday than Valentine’s Day since the goal is to show off your love for your significant other, so being a witness to others’ love becomes unavoidable if you have any sort of social media. If you don’t have any romantic prospects this Valentine’s Day, being forced to watch others express their love can get really miserable really fast. So if you can afford to do so, I suggest you tear yourself away from social media for a few days.
Going to therapy: Maybe not on Valentine’s Day, but if you feel like it’s necessary during the days or weeks leading up to the day, try calling a therapist. Right now, most therapists are conducting phone sessions, but if you don’t have a regular therapist, don’t be afraid to look into local counselling resources either on or off-campus (the UWindsor Student Counselling Centre is still open for video and phone appointments).
Going outside for a breath of fresh air: While you’re taking some time away from your phone, you might as well escape the confines of your home and venture outside. Being cooped up inside a single space for long periods of time can make anyone feel anxious, so if the weather permits, it might be refreshing to grab your dog, a friend, or even just your own self and head out for a short walk.
Cleaning up your space: If leaving your house is not a viable option right now, you can do your best to ensure your space is clean and organized. I find that my emotions often reflect the state of my room; if the area is cluttered, then I have issues thinking straight. So even if you feel a bit disorderly on the inside this Valentine’s Day, you can at least attempt to simulate a neat space to exist in.
Showing gratitude: When you’re single on Valentine’s Day it can be easy to focus on what you don’t have, but as I said at the beginning of the article, it can also be a time to celebrate some platonic and familial love. So call up your friends and family to let them know how much you appreciate them;you may discover that by spreading love to others, love will come back towards you.
As someone who has always managed to be single around this time of year, I’ve always dreaded Valentine’s Day. But as I get older I’ve come to realize that the one person who will always be there for me is me, so it’s important that I take care of myself. Wherever you are in your self-love journey, I hope that you can recognize the beauty in being your own best friend.