As a bisexual woman, I’ve spent years trying to perfect the ultimate recipe for combating bi-erasure, both internalized and from outside. It’s not easy when one side pressures bi people into exclusively non-straight relationships while gatekeeping the community, and the other side patronizes us with stereotypes—or worse, denies our existence altogether. But fear not! As of 2025, I’ve crafted the ideal (homemade) formula for addressing, challenging, and shutting down any attempt to ignore, invalidate, or erase bisexuality in culture, media, and our communities. Below, you’ll find my carefully curated list of ingredients and step-by-step instructions that I use for fighting bi-erasure and biphobia:
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup of a welcoming community (e.g., UWSA Pride Community) to connect with others who understand and support you.
- Two teaspoons of a healthy support system of friends and family who respect your identity.
- One tablespoon of validating yourself by building self-worth and reaffirming your bisexuality, on your own terms.
- 1/4 cup of recognizing and challenging stereotypes by educating yourself and developing the confidence to push back against misinformation.
Directions
1. Whip up comebacks for ignorant comments
First, I have comebacks ready for ignorant comments as a powerful way to push back against bi-erasure:
💬 Comment 1: “Are you really bi? I’ve only seen you in heterosexual relationships.”
- “Oh, I didn’t realize my love life was your favorite binge-watch. Want me to send a spoiler alert next time?”
💬 Comment 2: “Bisexuality isn’t real. Just pick a side.”
- “Why limit myself to one side when I can enjoy the whole menu?”
💬 Comment 3: “I don’t date bi people. Aren’t they more likely to cheat?”
- “No worries—I don’t date people who judge based on harmful stereotypes, so we wouldn’t work out.”
💬 Comment 4: “You’re not really queer if you’re in a straight-passing relationship.”
- “Oh, I didn’t realize queerness came with an expiration date. Thanks for the update.”
💬 Comment 5: “You don’t seem queer to me.”
- “And you didn’t seem ignorant—yet here we are.”
2. Stir up Awareness and Challenge Stereotypes
Next, I spread awareness and challenge stereotypes. Bisexuality isn’t confusion, a phase, or a stepping stone to being gay or straight: it’s its own valid identity. Bi people also aren’t more likely to cheat, and being in a relationship that appears heterosexual doesn’t make someone any less bisexual. These misconceptions are harmful, and I call them out whenever they appear!
3. Pour Energy into Amplifying and Advocating for Bisexual voices
To make a lasting impact, it’s crucial to me to amplify and advocate for bisexual voices. While society has made significant efforts to represent both ends of the sexual orientation spectrum in media, the bi community often remains overlooked or not represented enough. It’s time to create a truly inclusive space for bisexual individuals within both LGBTQ+ and heterosexual communities. Support bisexual artists, writers, activists, and influencers who are working tirelessly to increase visibility and representation. Advocate for accurate and authentic portrayals of bisexuality in our media—because representation matters. Together, we can make a difference.
4. Blend in Inclusive Language
In everyday conversations, using inclusive language is important to me. I acknowledge bisexuality without making assumptions about someone’s orientation based on their current or past relationships. I avoid binary language—terms like partner instead of boyfriend or girlfriend can be more inclusive and respectful of people’s identities.
5. Sprinkle in Normalizing Bisexuality
Finally, I normalize bisexuality in all spaces. I include bisexuality in discussions about sexual orientation without erasing or minimizing it. I validate bisexual identities by refusing to question or doubt someone’s experiences based on their dating history. Even within the LGBTQ+ community, bi-erasure exists, so I reflect on those biases and challenge them when I see them. Most importantly, I support self-acceptance by encouraging bisexual individuals to embrace their identity without shame or doubt.
By following this recipe, I not only combat bi-erasure and biphobia but I also create a more accepting and inclusive world for bisexual individuals everywhere. So, grab the ingredients, spread awareness, and stand firm! Bisexuality is real, valid, and here to stay.