Body positivity is a topic that has dominated the media for a few years. In recent years, however, body positivity has been criticized for creating a “toxic positivity” atmosphere in which one is always expected to feel loving or positive towards their body, despite the overpowering ideals of beauty. The overly commercialized aspect of body positivity, in ads like Dove’s campaign “Real Beauty,” often shows models that fit into less discriminated body standards, such as relatively thin models with stretch marks or not a completely flat stomach. As we move towards body positivity, the hour-glass figure has opposed the skinny figure of runway models, but still plays into the beauty ideals by demanding perfectly curved hips, a lack of stomach fat, large breasts, and an hour-glass figure. The highly commercialized, distilled version of body positivity that many of us absorb on a daily basis is a step in the right direction — but it still promotes many of the damaging ideals of beauty and pushes discriminated bodies, like women with black skin, women in wheelchairs and fat women, to the side, yet again. The body positivity was started by fat feminists, yet over time, has been co-opted by thin women as a watered-down method to feel better about insecurities. While it’s important to formulate new ways of feeling and thinking about our bodies, the body positivity movement no longer focuses on the very people who created it. That’s a problem.
Body neutrality has emerged as a new way of looking at bodies. Rather than focusing on the love you hold for your body, body neutrality advocates focusing on the things your body does for you, rather than what it looks like. Instead of saying, “I like my legs” which may be difficult for some people to say every day, body neutrality advocates saying, “I am thankful that my legs allowed me to go on a refreshing walk today.” Alison Stone, a psychotherapist, notes how body neutrality can allow us to spend more time thinking about other aspects of our lives, and enjoy our lives more fully — when we are constantly thinking about our appearance, we are not fully present. Further, we have less room to talk about patriarchy, and to fight against it.
Although there are studies that confirm the beneficial mental aspects of thinking about bodies in a body-neutral light, I want to talk about my own experiences with body neutrality.
Body neutrality is not something that I was even aware of until recently. Most often, when I felt badly about my body, I would look in the mirror, whisper feminist body-image affirmations like I was “beautiful no matter what,” yet I still felt ugly. I felt guilty for feeling like my body wasn’t enough. I was supposed to be a feminist, a self-proclaimed examiner of the beauty and cosmetic industry. But those feelings always crept into my life, and they always distracted me.
Social media was particularly brutal for me. For the longest time, I avoided posting pictures that exposed elements of myself I didn’t like, and even when I did post pictures, I’d look at them again and again, picking them apart. Even as comments would pour in (“You’re so cute!” and “Adorable!” from my kind friends), I would still stare at myself in the mirror, asking why I couldn’t seem to take the flattering pictures others could.
When Lizzo emerged talking about body neutrality, I began to read about the history of the body positivity movement and marginalized bodies in the beauty industry. Body neutrality offered a new way of looking at my body, especially within social media, that allowed me to take a step back and look at what my body has done, rather than what it looks like. Whenever I start to examine my body’s flaws, I think about the fact that my body allowed me to cook a good pasta dinner today, to study for a test I did well on, or simply allowed me to clean up my room. I feel less attached to the superficial version of myself that exists on screens, and more attached to my core personality and values.
Although I believe that everyone has to formulate their own relationships to their bodies (and I am not an expert in this, by any stretch), I think it’s important to recognize that self-care doesn’t always look like loving your body. Sometimes, it’s merely recognizing that my body got me through the day. Sometimes, it’s seeing myself by what I do, rather than what I see in the mirror.
It’s difficult to form a healthy relationship with bodies, especially in this modern age, but I firmly believe that my body is the least interesting thing about me, or about anyone else.
References:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/i-am-so-damn-sick-of-hating-my-body_n_5b032286e4b0a046186ecbf5
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-is-body-neutrality_n_5b61d8f9e4b0de86f49d31b4