As kids, when we misbehaved, our parents would say, “I’m not mad at you, I’m just very disappointed.” That sentence always seemed to hurt a lot more than being lectured or grounded. Why is that? Disappointment is when you let someone down, when you do not or cannot live up to certain expectations. You feel low-spirited. But, what if instead of disappointing someone else, you disappoint yourself?
For example, you have a goal of getting an A in all your classes for the semester, and you work hard to try to reach those goals. But unfortunately, you could not obtain that mark in just one class. You end up with one B. Seeing that grade on your transcript would not just make you sad, but disappointed in yourself.
“What more could I have done?”
Most times when you set a goal, you plan out how you will reach it. You work hard to achieve it. So, there really is not much more you could have done.
Another scenario can be sport related. Imagine you play on a baseball team your entire life. You create long-lasting friendships, you all play for the same league, you plan on playing on the local university team, and to top it all off, you receive a scholarship your senior year of high school. At this point nothing can go wrong… right? But reality is that not everything in life plays out how you hope it to.
You are playing your championship game of the season, the last one before you head to university. You are up to bat, you swing and start running to first base. Suddenly, you fall onto the ground and your arm is cracked in half. You are rushed to the hospital only to find out that the state of your arm is too critical for you to return next season. You lose your scholarship. You lose contact with your teammates. You are outrageously disappointed in yourself.
In a situation like the one just mentioned, there is absolutely no way of avoiding the end results. It was completely out of your control, but why are you disappointed in yourself? Sadly, you could not reach your goal of playing for the university team with your friends.
On that note, how can you mentally handle this situation? Here are a few ways to cope:
- Accept what has happened.
As unfortunate as it is, there is no changing what happened. It is what it is. You must find a way to adapt and find another goal to chase after. Obviously, this is easier said than done. A suggested manner of accepting the fact would be to talk to someone close to you who understands the situation. That someone could be your parent or a friend who can help you see the other side of things.
- Find a new goal to reach.
As previously mentioned, if one goal does not turn out, find one that will. Maybe you find a new hobby like long distance running and your goal is to run a marathon. You can start training every day until you can reach it, and each day that you get closer, you will start to feel proud and accomplished. Then, you will forget about your past disappointing experience.
- Look back on it and reminisce.
Instead of thinking back to that time and complaining to others about “what could have been” or “if only,” talk about what you did accomplish. You worked hard to reach that goal and the work trying to get to that point overrides the end game. All the time, effort, and dedication you put in shows how hard-working you are, because even though it did not pan out as expected, it does not erase all that effort.
In conclusion, as humans we all experience disappointing events during our lives. We work hard to arrive at our destination, but sometimes there are bumps in the road that create a detour. But you never know, that detour could lead you somewhere better than what you were previously searching for.