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Words of Affirmation For Toxic Thanksgiving Spaces

As Thanksgiving or what some refer to as “thankstaking” is creeping up on our calendars, so does the anxiety that comes from knowing you will have to interact with some family members you just never seem to meet eye-to-eye with. Some people love to spend this time with family, gathering around the table to enjoy each other’s company, and to give thanks for the opportunity to do so each year. Others cannot wait for the night to be over, and sometimes it’s both. The fear of answering the same questions like “when are you going to bring a boy home?” Or “what are you majoring in again?” can be a frustrating experience and we are here to tell you you’re not alone!

Thanksgiving In it’s wholesome problematic nature can already be overwhelming to deal with. But sometimes our family is just the whip cream on top of the problematic pie.

For those of you who find yourself constantly wanting to leave the table. For those of you who already feel the anxiety of having to pass the rolls and getting questioned about something you posted on Facebook a month ago. For those of you who recognize that sometimes family can be toxic here are 20 words of affirmation to read before and after being in a toxic space:

  1. Your voice is valid

  2. To protect your energy it’s okay to speak up

  3. It’s okay to say no

  4. Only you can decided how you feel

  5. Only you can decided what you take in

  6. You are worthy of love

  7. Trust yourself

  8. Your actions and words can inspire others

  9. It’s okay to disagree

  10. Choosing not to respond is also a response

  11. Guilt is a feeling not a fact

  12. You’re capable of acknowledging you don’t need and letting them go

  13. Advice you hear from others is not always for you and that’s okay

  14. Small frustrations don’t have to overpower your whole day or life

  15. Your dreams are valid

  16. You are more than your body shape or size

  17. FEAR is just False Expectations Appearing Real

  18. I’ve survived all my difficult moments of my past

  19. All situations are temporary

  20. You are valid

Just read these out loud as you get ready, before you leave your car and when you leave the space, it is important that you speak up but also protect yourself and who you are. Family can have a big impact in our mental health and self care, in both negative and positive ways. Speaking words of affirmation and believing them can help you decided what to take in and and what to let go. You matter and you are not alone!


Angelica Mendoza is a Sophomore at UW Bothell with an intended Major in Media & Communications and a minor in Diversity Studies. Pronouns are Her, Hers, Ella. She aspires to inspire Latinas and Womxn of color to challenge the way media portrays them and to break barriers that are placed in front of them because of where they come from or who they are. She wants to be a voice in the media for young womxn because we are real womxn with real stories and valid opinions! She is proud to be a xicana and loves traveling, meeting new people and going out to new places with her friends and family!
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