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Local Student “Leslie Knopes” Virtual Graduation

Since her school shut-down, everyone’s favorite “real life Leslie Knope” Eve Yang took matters into her own hands in celebrating commencement. 

“Graduation doesn’t happen every day, and it’s my job to make sure that everyone feels accomplished at the end of this. The circumstances may be crazy, but it’s nothing we can’t handle without the right attitude.”

Reportedly with the right attitude Eve has managed to assemble a task force dedicated to maximizing graduation celebrations. One such member of the task force, who chooses to remain anonymous commented, “I have at least three assignments a day with online classes, but that pales in comparison to the work we’re doing to organize all of this. We even have a check-in meeting at 8am every day this week to make sure everything goes according to plan. It seems like a lot, but in the end we all know that this is the best way to celebrate under the circumstances.”

Leading up to the weekend, participants were invited to participate in the celebration through an intricately written letter chain. The released itineraries show activities throughout the weekend, including cocktail hours, karoke night, and even a social distance approved TikTok collaboration. 

We can only imagine what other suprises are in store for the live streamed ceremony!

DISCLAIMER: Satire

Stephanie Zengler is a Business Administration major and Communication Studies minor, and she completely understands if you think her last name is actually Ziegler. Like a lot of business majors, Stephanie has a favorite Andrew Carnegie quote, and like a good communication minor, has very strong opinions on the Oxford comma. Aside from being a Stout student, Stephanie is an avid fan of Bay Area sports, Fleetwood Mac, and the amazingly perfect show Dollface.
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