“Living on my own is gonna be awesome!” -pre-college me.
For rent: 4 bedroom, 1 bath. Close to campus. Comes with washer and dryer, bedbugs, and strangers who go through the trash.
Okay, it hasn’t been all bad, in fact being away from home has been entirely awesome, but let’s just say I’m thoroughly looking forward to apartment-hunting after I land a full-time job away from any university. College, it’s been real, but I really won’t miss the run-down apartments and houses I’ve called “home.” From outdated, energy inefficient appliances to mystery carpet stains, here’s my working list of things I won’t miss about college housing:
1. Freezing cold winters and scorching hot summers, yet questionably high energy bills.
The view from inside the living room.
The thermostat is set at 55 degrees, how is our bill $450?!?!
2. Disruptive neighbors.
It’s so soothing when the neighbors are playing Uptown Funk at 2 AM on a Tuesday…or doing other things you really don’t want to hear.
3. Scumbag landlords.
There are three types of landlords: the type that completely leaves you alone but never fixes anything, the type that cares way too much about their dumpy house and shows up to fix the dryer unexpectedly, and the type that spies from afar and keeps your security deposit because of the candle they saw you light once.
4. Pests.
I signed my lease with three other people, not three other people and mice and bats and spiders and ants.
5. Living in filth that literally does not ever come clean.
What even is that? Actually, I don’t want to know.
Because you probably have a crappy landlord, your house was probably never cleaned, unless you count the last-second-one-and-only sweep-job from the last tenants. You can bleach and scrub all you want but the shower will never be white and the 5-second rule will never apply to the food that drops on your kitchen floor. Nope.
6. Knowing your house/apartment isn’t up to code.
Is the smoke detector supposed to fall off the ceiling?
7. Crappy appliances or lack thereof.
“Clean” dishes.
It’s so annoying when dishes come out of the dishwasher dirty…and then I remember how lucky I am to even have a dishwasher.
8. People who look through and/or contribute to your personal dumpster.
Nothing against sustainable living–as a nation we produce way too much trash. But please check out Little C’s instead…you’re the reason I cut up, burn, and soak my voided out checks in acid. Just kidding I don’t do that. Just kidding I do. JK.
9. Cold showers.
Oh, all the roommates have class at 8:50? Better hope you’re an early riser. And forget running the dishwasher or sink and showering at the same time.
10. Super, ridiculously thin walls.
The wall between my closet and my roommates room.
We’re college students–we have a reputation for partying hard and being broke. That sort of kills any chance for a well-built house. So we deal with knowing every intimate detail of our rommates’ lives and knowing they probably know every detail of ours.