Loving Loudly
Anyone who has ever met me knows that when I feel, I FEEL. When I tell someone that I care about them, then I am 1000% in. Nothing about the way I love the people in my life is nonchalant, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Growing up, I would sometimes hear my family tell me not to get too close to people just in case they were not good people, and that friends won’t be there for me through everything like family will, but I could never listen to that advice. Meeting different kinds of people (good and bad) is such an important part of finding yourself, and keeping yourself away from this will only stunt your personal growth.
Every relationship I’ve ever had has had some kind of special meaning to me. The second I learn about your favorite color, your birthday, or your favorite food, all of a sudden that’s YOUR color, YOUR food, and that day will be ingrained into my memory as your birthday forever. One can say that this is a great trait to have, but that’s not always the case.
What happens when I am no longer friends with someone? Even if the friendship ended on a sour note, I still won’t forget. That color will still be YOUR color, that food is still YOUR food, and I’ll think of you on that day every single year, even if I’ve healed and moved on. Even if it’s been years, and even if I got hurt. Because at some point in time, you were special to me and a part of me will always treasure those times, even if the memories feel tainted now.
For years, I had a habit of calling people my best friend very easily, but somehow something would happen, and they would move away, or we would distance ourselves, and I’d lose them. My dad made this running joke where every time I call someone my best friend, they’d leave. This created fear in me. That I can’t let myself care that much about someone, because what if they leave too? So, no matter how close I got to people, I stopped letting myself call them my best friend.
Until SAMREEN!
If you’ve known me for a day or two, you will also know Samreen, my best friend.
I am simply a walking Samreen fan page. I met her during her freshman year of high school, and after graduation, she attended university in Illinois. This scared me because of the prior fear that I had instilled into myself: what if I lost her, too? I let myself care too much, and now I’m done for! Except I was wrong, and we’re both now in our last year of university and still going strong. I don’t need to see her or talk to her 25/8 to know that she cares about me, and I know now that she was placed into my life as the friendship I used to dream of having. Someone who will care for and about me through it all.
I will never ever stop loving my friends and letting them know I love them because friendship to me is your chosen family. Never stop yourself from loving and appreciating your friends openly!
TELL YOUR PEOPLE YOU LOVE THEM!!!!