My College Application and Decision Process
When I applied to colleges last year, I thought that UVA was an incredibly far-reaching school for me and I couldn’t even imagine myself realistically being accepted. I remember telling my mom that I wasn’t sure I was going to even apply because I doubted my ability to get in so much. She eventually convinced me to just apply, telling me I would never know what I am capable of if I never try.
So, when I opened my acceptance letter in late January, I was stunned. I reopened the link an endless amount of times, just waiting for the letter to say something different, that the university made a mistake and I actually was deferred or rejected. But that never happened. Each time I reopened it I saw the same thing: “Congratulations!” with digital orange confetti invading my screen.
For weeks after opening that letter I could not accept that the decision was real. It wasn’t until about a month later when UVA sent me a physical copy of my acceptance letter along with an assortment of celebratory goodies that my accomplishment felt real. I realized that all of the effort I put into doing well in high school and involving myself in as many meaningful organizations and activities as I could finally paid off. But for some reason, I still felt like I didn’t deserve it.
I didn’t start a non-profit organization or lead some life-changing initiative while in high school. I wasn’t exceptionally talented at a sport or some other activity that would make me stand out on a college application. I didn’t experience some insane or unique event that deeply impacted the rest of my life. These were the only types of people I assumed got into a school like UVA, especially coming from out-of-state with no prior familial connections to the university. It was because of this idea in my mind that made me feel like I didn’t belong.
My Experience Upon Arriving to UVA
When I finally moved into UVA this past August, my imposter syndrome was at an all-time high. I questioned my place at the university even more after hearing about the different boarding or prep schools that my peers attended, the impressive achievements they accomplished while in high school, and some of their deep historical ties with the university.Â
I was hesitant to speak in class, afraid that my peers would view me as less-than or think that my thoughts weren’t as insightful as everyone else’s. I was so nervous to submit my first writing assignment, automatically assuming that it wouldn’t be up to par with my professor’s expectations of a UVA student.Â
I thought that if I didn’t carefully complete all of my assignments and read over everything an infinite amount of times, that my peers or professors would discover my secret: that I’m not as smart as everyone else here and I don’t deserve to be at this school.
What I have learned so far though, is that I don’t have a secret. I belong at this university just as much as the rest of my classmates.
How I am Overcoming My Imposter Syndrome
Having this feeling of imposter syndrome is nothing out-of-the-ordinary for students at top universities like UVA. After talking to some of my friends here, I discovered that they were all experiencing similar feelings as me. This is when I realized how ridiculous we all must sound. We all were accepted into this school, so we clearly are all extremely qualified and accomplished, so how come we view ourselves so poorly?
After nearly two months of being a student at UVA, I have began to recognize my worth and my ability much more than I had at the beginning. I still doubt myself, of course, but I can recognize that I deserve my place at this university just as much as the rest of my peers do. I worked hard to get here and I am going to continue to work even harder for the next four years that I am a student at UVA. My place, and my peers’ places, are all rightfully earned, so we should be proud of the work we have all done to get here.