5 Ways to achieve the Self-Esteem You've Always Wanted

In the middle of class, during you’re walk to your parking spot, as you lay awake in bed unable to sleep, you sometimes can’t make that voice go away. That pointless, revolting, belittling voice in the back of your head which whispers all things wrong with you, why you have never been good enough, why you’re always a step behind. Well you know what? Those voices don’t exist and neither should your self judgement.

Here are 5 tips for nipping those whispers at the bud.

1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. 

In other words, go on a social media cleanse! As perfect and gorgeous those girls and guys media encourages you to idolize are, YOU ARE NOTHING LESS and they are nothing more. Today we are fully aware of the amount of preparation it takes to achieve that perfect “Instagram worthy” shot we obsess over, we all know the process. Why is it so easy to think so highly of others yet not so much when it comes to yourself? Social media is notorious for sharing with us the glamorous selfies, the perfect relationships and the most amazing vacations. But what we don’t see are the self-hate, metal breakdowns and stacks of bills those same people can’t afford to pay. Every time you find yourself thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, remember what Justin Bieber sang, it’s green where you water it. Don’t only compare your “lack of self-love and happiness” with others while skillfully ignoring what you have better than them. That’s just not fair.


2. Build me Up, Buttercup.

You might not realize this, but your self-talk is ALWAYS under your control. Next time you find that nasty whisper sneaking its way into your day, you take a look at that mirror and tell yourself (out loud, sing it preferably) that you are single handedly the best damn thing this mirror will ever have the privilege of seeing. Hold out your superwoman pose, slap on the biggest smile you have and TELL YOURSELF that you are what is right with this world and that you are going to make this day your B***. That spells best, ya filthy animal.


3. Tell your Inner Negative Nancy to take A Long Vacation.

“If you won’t say it to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself,” make that your golden rule. Every time you feel that negative self-talk creeping into your system, stop whatever you’re doing and say [insert your choice of profanity] to that mean Negative Nancy.

4. Kill the Perfectionist.

You may be a unique snowflake, but you’re not perfect. In fact, this may surprise you but NO ONE IS. Huh, imagine that? You cannot thrive under the weight of unrealistic expectations. Take joy in your small victories instead. For many years I struggled with what I refer to as cinematic scope. I had created very dreamy expectations of what my life was supposed to look like. College was supposed to be full of fun parties while I magically make it to being no.1 on the dean’s list. I was supposed to have lost twenty pounds and look like a curvy member of the Kardashian family by now and possibly be dating Chris Hemsworth. I was supposed to have started my own boutique, magazine, make-up line and an entire organization and be sitting in the guest of honor seat at a Versace fashion show while the whole world speaks of my glamorous achievement. As you can already imagine, the fall to real life of juggling college, work and life turned out to be far less glamorous than I anticipated. I was crushed. But I’ve brought my expectations out of the clouds since then and when I still catch myself  feeling bummed when my life falls short of that blockbuster ideal image, I now find myself counting the blessings I have been handed and make a small but significant list of all of my proud achievement. Accepting your life for what it is will do wonders for your self-esteem and happiness. And yes, not eating a brownie at the tempting hour of 2 am counts as an achievement.

5. Revel in your mistakes

And last but never the least, instead of chewing yourself out for making mistakes in your life, learn to see it as an opportunity only you were lucky enough to witness. It’s all about the perspective you choose to have in life. Everyone who is someone today has gone through their fair share of misery and self-doubt. It’s not about what the experiences are, what you choose to do with those experiences is what will give you your recognition and self-esteem. All you have to do is recognize the best of the worst situation and make it the best you can.