When you and your friends link up and go party, you’ll probably see their zodiac signs come out majorly.
Aries
Aries are the life of the party. You’re never the friend everyone “forgot” to invite, because you’re the ringleader and probably the one inviting everyone in the first place. You’re admired by everyone around you, until 2 am when you’re ready to fight. You don’t even know who to fight. You just know you need to fight someone. You’ll spend the next hour waiting for someone to make you mad. Then when someone does you’ll realize you don’t actually want to fight at all, you’re just a hormonal mess, so instead, you’ll go find someone to make out with.
Taurus
You’re not the mom friend, but you’re pretty close. You don’t keep your friends out of trouble, you’re just the one that has to deal with them once they’re actually in trouble. You let Allison take that last shot that sent her over the edge, but you also rubbed her back and held her hair when she threw up. However, an hour after you called Allison an Uber and got her home safely, you realized you were in denial about being drunk all night and you’re actually blacked tf out. Now who’s gonna hold your hair back?
Gemini
Geminis are notorious for having two completely different personas. That being said, all your friends are really hoping you decide to be Jessica instead of Courtney tonight. Jessica is laid back and cool. She makes her rounds talking to every guest at the party, charming them with her impressive social grace. Courtney is the tornado of a human who throws up at the pregame, emails her ex-boyfriend a death threat, and steals the Declaration of Independence, all before 10pm. Don’t worry though. We’ve all been Courtney.
Cancer
You’re tender, kind-hearted nature draws people in. What pushes them away is the tears. Always the tears. You’re the first in line for a drunken cry sesh in the master bathroom. At first, you were crying over your ex, but then your best-friend Natalie cheered you up and now you’re crying because you just really f*cking love Natalie. Oh my God, she’s the best. After you’re over that though, you’ll rally harder than anyone in human history and you and your puffy eyes will be LIVING on the dance floor.
Leo
A Leo’s natural habitat is drunkenly complimenting other girls in the bathroom. Literally every single girl you meet is wearing the most AMAZING top and has PERFECT eyebrows. You just want to be everyone’s friend and go to brunch. This is all good fun until one girl decides not to compliment you back. Suddenly your life is a nightmare and everyone thinks your best friend is prettier than you. You’ll spend the rest of the night crying about this and when you wake up the next day, your eyes will be glued shut from all the tears and glitter (you were for sure wearing glitter) and you’ll be ready to do it all over again.
Virgo
Nine times out of ten the mom friend is a Virgo. Your night is more stress than fun as you try to keep your children in line. You try and relax with a glass of wine, but every time you turn around Amanda is taking another shot and OH MY GOD you cut her off thirty-five minutes ago, why won’t she just listen to you?! Honestly, you probably won’t even get a chance to drink because you’re so busy taking care of your friends. Also, you’ll probably have to pick everyone up for brunch tomorrow, as well as supply the ibuprofen.
Libra
Libras are shady af and deep down you all know it. You’ll start the night off having fun with your friends, maybe acting a little drunker than you actually are, but when the clock strikes midnight you ditch your friends to go steal your friend Sarah’s mans. The good news is you probably won’t get caught because Libras are so damn sly. The bad news is you’re gonna feel guilty about it because deep down you have a conscience.
Scorpio
Let’s be real, y’all are a bunch of loose f*cking cannons. Your only real goal tonight was to look hot (a goal you accomplished effortlessly) but then the rest of the night was a ROLLERCOASTER. You and your friends probably made a pact that you would all leave together tonight and, to be fair, 4 shots ago you were seriously planning on leaving with them, but then your best friend from fourth grade tweeted that she was having a lowkey-kickback-rager in her dad’s mansion two towns over and suddenly Captain Morgan has convinced you to rekindle that friendship.
Sagittarius
Alright, we all know a Sagittarius can’t keep their mouth shut. The night started off great as you charmed everyone at the party with your great sense of humor and exciting stories, but then Trisha said some sh*t that you just can’t ignore. You would never actually fight her, but wow, you really tore into her verbally. After leaving everyone, especially Trisha, speechless, you’ll slip into the night and no one will see you for the next two weeks.
Capricorn
Everyone was having a good night until you brought up the 2016 election. Don’t get me wrong, we’re all outraged by it and want to voice our concerns. The issue is that it’s not typical beer pong banter and now Brad from Lambda Chi is going OFF about God knows what. It’s okay though, because Brad’s nonsense enraged you so much that you wrote your entire Political Science Thesis in 3 hours while blackout drunk and Spoiler Alert: drunk you thinks it is a game changer.
Aquarius
It’s a well-known fact that Aquarius’s are a bunch of weirdos. You’ll probably spend most of your night having deep conversation in some strangely lit room that’s absolutely draped in tapestries. Like, for real, you can’t even tell if you’re in someone’s bedroom or a tent, there are so many tapestries. Once you’re out of there, you’ll realize how much you hate parties, but hey you’re already here so you might as well go hard af. Don’t be mistaken though, you’re definitely gonna complain about the party tomorrow morning.
Pisces
Pisces are always just looking for someone to listen. You’ll sift through hordes of people until you find someone to listen to your life story. Finally, you find Craig. He listens to you talk about your dog Butters and all your fond childhood memories of him. You’ll wipe a tear from Craig’s eye when you tell him about Butter’s untimely death at the ripe age of 19 (133 in dog years.) By the end of the night, you’ll be thoroughly convinced the Craig is the one. When you wake up in the morning your friends will inform you that you spent the whole night talking to a lampshade. Craig does not exist. You were really high.