Calling all collegiettes, it’s time to talk. Relationships, no matter what way you spin them, in college are hard. We are expected to get good grades, to be on top of our game, join a sorority, go to football games, and keep one. But this is the reality, the routine, the ravage, of relationships.
THE DANGER ZONE:
Before I dated somebody I never let my self feel anything for any guy. I never truly liked a guy and put my heart into a relationship because I never believed that It was worth it. I didn’t trust anyone and didn’t want to trust anyone. But over the years I have learned that there is nothing more important than allowing your self to feel.
Like most guys, I was the type of girl who never cared too much, I didn’t want to be the one who got their heart broken or even seemed like the vulnerable one or the one that anyone could hurt or make upset. I would talk to guys, maybe “hook-up” or have a “thing” with them but I never would let my self develop a true relationship because ironically, I was afraid of getting hurt. I always said to my self, in the future, when I grow up, when I get married, there will be a guy for me, but how would I ever find this special person if I never allowed my self to feel. I always thought that the girls who kept getting their hearts broken were the weak ones, but I have learned quickly that the people who allow them selves to care are actually the strong ones. They are the ones who will truly experience life to the fullest. By not allowing your self to develop feelings for someone you are only cutting your self off to further relationships in the future. The girls who take that leap of faith and put them selves out there in the danger zone are not only setting them selves up to find a stronger and more fulfilling relationship in the future, but the ones who will continue to strive in relationships. By putting your self out there and exposing your self in the danger zone you will find that even though you may get your heart broken once or twice or even three times, each and every time will make you a stronger person. I can’t say that I or anyone else wants to get hurt, but relationship are like cliff jumping, when your jumping it may be terrifying, but once you land you are happy that you did it and that it’s over.
LOVE YOUR SELF:
In order to strive in a healthy relationship you have to be content with your self. Being in relationship doesn’t mean that someone else is responsible for your happiness. It is important to be happy on your own and allow your relationship to be the “cherry on top”. Loving your self and being happy with your self doesn’t mean you are self centered and egocentric, but it means that you are comfortable in your own skin, and you embrace your qualities you hold.
I have always been in love with the “idea of being in love”. There is nothing more beautiful than to be completely enamored in a world where nothing exists, besides raw love and tender affection. Its magical the way two minds can have such a strong connection, a connection that binds them together for eternity. I believe that there is a guy out there that will sweep me off my feet, a guy that will make me question what I ever saw in anyone else, but today isn’t the day. As an 18 year old girl, I have experienced grief, heartache, distress, and felt completely vulnerable at one point or another. I have felt what its like to feel like someone is your whole world, to loose sight of who you really are, and to feel completely lost. As a newly single girl, I have realized that I don’t want anyone who will sweep me of my feet, someone who can understand me better than I can understand myself, someone who I can’t imagine life without, someone who I am crazy for, someone who you can’t go a day without seeing or talking to, I don’t want there to be “another half” of me. I want to be me and only ME. I want to feel like I am my own person, I want to feel whole, I want to be able to be completely happy with my self. It’s OKAY to be SELFISH and take time to your self to truly get to know who you are.
INFATUATION OR LOVE?
I am a strong believer in knowing the difference between infatuation and love; two VERY different things that we can alter by our perspective. For example, if you look back on your high school sweetheart, you may think you were infatuated with each other, but in the moment you may have thought you were very much in love. Although the two differ greatly it is important to be able recognize both of them because doing so will truly help you be stronger and wiser person for each and every new relationship you may form in the future.