Regret is probably one of the worst feelings in life. It is not uncommon to hear someone say that they don’t regret any decisions they have made in their life, because they have made the choice not to do so, but not choosing is also a choice – duh – and often brings incredibly unexpected regret. Unfortunately, it seems that the choices we don’t make and the doors we don’t open are the ones we regret the most. There is always something to be learned when you open a new door, but you will never know what that lesson is unless you give it a shot. Sometimes, opening the door is enough and you don’t even need to break the threshold, but other times opening the door can reveal unexpected circumstances and change your life in a way that you may not have otherwise known.
Regret, by definition as a noun, is a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done, especially a lost or missed opportunity. It is easy to see that the reason people choose not to be regretful, is because holding onto sadness and negative feelings, based on something that often can’t be altered, will most likely stunt present or future growth. Which, by the way, is excellent advice. However, it’s one of those tips that is easier said than done. Learning to be regret-less takes practice, patience, and a focused heart for future opportunities to possibly mend that wound. Wound sounds harsh, but occasionally the predicament at hand can be that upsetting.
We don’t have time machines, and no matter how many times we are told that the choices we made in the past work together to develop the person we are today, sometimes it is just not comforting. As humans we appreciate the people in our life trying to make us feel better about the fact that we passed up something awesome, but it in no way fills the void, small or large, that has put a damper on the present. If you are reading this, and can think of anything you regret— make a pact. If you can fix it then do so, and if not, then from now on open every single door possible. When you do, not only will you NOT regret the choices you do make, but most importantly, you will never give yourself the opportunity to regret a chance you didn’t take, because you will take them all.
We have all seen shows like “Dance Moms” and “Toddlers & Tiaras,” and we may not like them, but we get the concept. Moms who missed their shots, or are still living in their glory days, are living vicariously through their children. Okay… people… do you see/hear how outrageous that sounds? You are an individual, you have likes and dislikes, you have made mistakes, you have regrets, but do not waste any more time adding regrets to the list by living vicariously through someone else, or wallowing in self pity for the chances you didn’t take. In the song “Unwritten,” Natasha Bedingfield sang that “today is where your book begins,” and “only you can let it in.” Lets take that one step further— only you can open the door, only you can do what it takes, and only you can live for yourself. So at the very least, give yourself that much.
-M