Throughout your life, it’s safe to say that there are many relationships that come and go. You meet your elementary school best friend, middle school best friend, your core group of friends in high school, your first boyfriend, and the group of people you call “family” that you meet in college. Change in general is something that we struggle with, but particularly change in relationships can be very hard. There is nothing fun about having a relationship or friendship fade and not having that same bond with someone that you used to do everything with. There may have not have been that big argument that forced you to part ways, it simply can just be that you outgrew the relationship. And although it’s hard to understand, it’s something that everyone goes through.
As you grow older and start to become your own person, you learn a lot about yourself and who you want to be. You start to become comfortable in your own skin and the opinions of others, slowly fades to the back of your mind. This happens because you are learning the importance of priorities and you start to create a certain path for your life. This of course, happens differently for everyone, and at different times. This can lead to outgrowth of relationships.
Maybe you find yourself out growing that boyfriend of yours and you just realize that you want different things in life. It’s important in relationships to have a common vision as to what you would want in the future and someitmes it just can’t match up, no matter how badly you want it to. If you find yourself continually wanting more in the relationship, signs are probably pointing to the fact that you’ve outgrown the current relationship.
Or, as sad as it may be, you’re outgrowing your best friend. The things that you used to do all the time just don’t seem as important to you. You start to feel like you have less and less in common and no matter how hard you fight it, you begin drifting. The path of life is dragging you in different directions and you begin to want different things and you’re priorities and goals are not allined anymore.
When you outgrow certain relationships, it’s important to understand that it’s okay. When you are young and carefree it’s easy to not have a care in the world because you probably don’t need to. You have no responsibility yet and so it’s easy for your relationships to stay fun and close. When you grow older, life tends to get in the way. People get busier and find that they don’t have as much free time, and when they finally get a second to themselves all they want to do is relax. The old friends that you used to always go out with on the weekends, you find yourself not being drawn to that scene anymore because you know that you have more important things that you should be focusing on. That one friend is always pressuring you to go out, when all you want to do is stay in and watch your favorite movie. You had your freshmen fun and now you are ready to get serious with school and start looking past the four years and think about what the next step is.
It’s important to note that this is not necessarily a bad thing. It actually can be a very good thing. It doesn’t mean that you don’t cherish that person anymore or don’t want the best for them. You guys just may not be in the same spot in your life anymore. When you think back on certain relationships, you are able to evaluate how far you have grown. You may realize that you don’t want to be around people who just want to always go out on the weekends. At some point in your life, you will understand that going out can’t always be the top priority. This definitely is a hard thing to grasp, especially when peers around you are continuing to do it.
Just because you outgrow a relationship also doesn’t mean that you won’t have your friendship again. It just may take more time for the other person to grow as well and to find common ground again. People in their 20’s spend their time trying to figure out who they are as a person and this means that everyone at some point has the chose the life path they want to pursue, and this is not going to be the same for everyone and that’s inetivable. Every individual wants different things in life and outgrowth is bound to happen to certain relationships in your life. It’s okay to still have relationships where you might not see eye to eye, but it can be important to be surrounded by people with the same aspirations and ambition as you.
Throughout life, you are going to find yourself growing continuously and that’s sometime to look forward to. You wouldn’t be the person you are today, if you hadn’t grown in some way, shape, or form. With every experience that we take on in life, we will grow from it. If you don’t find yourself growing then maybe it’s a sign to take on new opportunities and get outside of your comfort zone.