Everyone has that person- the one you just hate. For our purposes right now, let’s say it’s Becky- she has good hair, she has a huge butt, and you used to be BFFs- but somewhere along the road she did you wrong, and now you hate every move she makes.
Here’s the thing though, while you’re sitting around sippin’ on the hater-ade, Becky is thriving. Whether or not you want to admit it, Becky is making money moves.
Obviously seeing your nemesis be happy, and do well is not on your top ten list of favorite things, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to be the bigger person, and learn to be happy for them. Here are a few ways to stop being a hater and start being the bigger person:
Find out who the real enemy is here.
More often then not, in the heat of a situation, we put the blame on the nearest person, and our anger is forever taken out on the wrong soul.
Let’s take Becky, for example. She just took your ex-slam piece to formal, but he was like, so last semester, right? So you totally don’t care, and blow it off. Wrong. You’re upset. You hate Becky- add her name to the Burn Book, and off with her head. But hey now, Becky didn’t really do anything wrong- you should be mad at Brad who played you, and then went for your friend. Solution: Be mad at Brad, not Becky.
Sit down and think about why you hate them.
This might sound trivial, but if it’s been some time since you developed these negative feelings, it’s super possible that you don’t even know why you don’t like Becky- you just don’t like her. Looking back on the situation might make you realize that it doesn’t matter anymore. It simply isn’t relevant that she took Brad to formal, after you had just made out with him on Tequila Tuesday. There are other Brads on the row (in fact, there might be a surplus of Brads), but there are not enough women who stick together when the going gets tough, or the frat boys get frat-ier.
It’s possible that there is something deeper going on.
Maybe, just maybe, you wish you had good hair too, and instead of hating Becky, you’re actually just a little jealous. Great news honey bunch, you do have good hair. Everyone has good hair. Be proud of who you are and what you’ve got. Start loving YOU so that you can stop hating Becky. Being more confident in yourself is the easiest way to get over being jealous of someone else, and in turn starting to admire them, or even be happy for them.
Maybe whatever happened was actually for the best.
Maybe somewhere along the way, you two crossed paths and competed for something- an internship, a leadership position, a boy- and Becky came out on top. Shit happens. Life isn’t fair, but what really isn’t fair is the disservice you do to yourself when you choose to let being a sore loser take over your life. Sit back, and realize that everything happens for a reason. Becky was meant to get that job or that guy, so that you could get something else; something better suited for you. Failures in life only come from mistakes that we don’t turn into lessons. So the next time you’re still mad about not getting that job, take a step back and find something good in your life that you wouldn’t have been able to get if you had that job. And then be thankful.
Finally, consider being in their shoes.
Would you want someone hating on you, or would you want someone supporting and empowering you, wanting to see you succeed? In life, you get what you give. If you put negative energy out, you will get negative energy back in. Put positivity and kindness out, and the love you will receive in return is inspiring. Be a better you, and inspire others to do the same. By letting go of this burden of hatred, you open yourself up to gain so much more.
Being happy for someone you hate could quite possible be the hardest thing in the world to do- apart from not crying every time you think about George O’Malley being dead. (RIP 007) But nevertheless with a little bit of faith, trust, & Pinot Noir, you too can overcome this trouble and move on to a happier, and healthier life.