Practice what you preach, do not give advice on any subject unless you are going to follow through yourself. In my previous article Alpha Women and College Romance, I suggested that we women not be afraid to be blunt and to ask the people we are attracted to out on a date, to follow our gut and not be afraid to take charge. I took my own advice and the result I ended with three dates and one weekend. All three guys were different from one another, different personalities and different perspectives, my weekend was booked and felt so long but at the time I did not realize what the outcome would be and how that would affect me. My focus for all three dates was to have fun, to get something out of the date either a friendship or second date and lastly to be myself to not focus on whether or not the guy I went out with liked me or the way I looked but rather focus on me and how I felt about myself, at all times my well being was priority.
Date 1: Movie and Dinner
I met Date One at Best Buy as he was repairing my laptop, I figured to kill time why not talk to the guy it was a light conversation and in the back of my mind I thought back to my advice and decided to just ask him since he was there, I had nothing to lose. Date One was taken back a bit and then agreed to a date he suggested dinner and a movie, first date cliché I know but hey since when is food and movies a bad combo? However, that Friday night Date One did not leave a good impression, I knew he was shy, but that night I had difficulty holding a conversation with him and felt as if I was dragging along the conversation. His answers were short and it became small talk. It was so awkward that when it came to paying for our food, I did not even suggest to pay together instead gave my card and paid for my own order. He looked startled and did not say a word at all until we sat back down. I usually do not find it hard to strike up a conversation with someone but I could not get much out of this guy, I felt as if he did not want to be there with me and regretted agreeing to the date. In the end, we finished dinner and went to the movies, but I felt so awkward and uncomfortable that I left the date early. I did not enjoy myself at all, needless to say, Date One did not score a second date.
Date 2: Coffee and Aquarium
Date Two I met at a lecture class we have he was in my study group and I just asked him at a study session we had at one of our group member’s house. I mean what was the harm and if anything we could just be friends. Date One agreed and suggested we go to the aquarium after I suggested coffee; however, he called me “babe” throughout the whole date and I barely know this guy I had only talked to him twice throughout the whole semester and had seen him like maybe four times. Date Two was charming but he was also very cocky, I had a hard time finding common ground, he boasted about his car and apartment and kind of was degrading me for my old Subaru and the fact that I live at home with my parents, I’m sorry since when is free food, paid bills, free washer and dryer and extra cash in your wallet a bad thing, according to Date Two, all of the above was bad status quo. The aquarium was a highlight but honestly I felt so miserable that I ended up texting one my friends for help to get me out of the date, instead I just straight up said, I had other things to do and that the date was dragging on too long, no date two for Date Two.
Date 3: Bowling and Frozen Yogurt
Date Three was a blind setup by some mutual friends. We met up in front of the building and it helped that we were both competitive which led to what I told myself to focus on in the first place, having fun. We were able to have a good time and set the stakes when he proposed loser would have to buy the frozen yogurt. There was light banter and laughs exchanged, there was a flow of conversation and I really did have a good time, however, there was something missing as much of good guy Date Three was, I just could not see myself going any further with him. Date Three had what you want from a first date, he was sweet, funny and charismatic you could be yourself and feel totally in tune with him. Yet if I step back and analyze myself I realized that I like the idea of Date Three but not Date Three, I just wasn’t that into him sometimes you just have to follow your gut so maybe I did not get a second date with Date Three but I got a friendship and that seems pretty good to me.
So, three dates and one weekend, would I do it again probably not but I am more optimistic and open-minded than when I first started. I realized that I should not be afraid of being a confident woman and not be afraid to take charge I need someone that can respect and treat me as an equal and give me my space. As women we are constantly told through all sorts of media of how we should appear physically of how we should act, but reality is that you should not be trying to impress someone else but yourself, the person who is going to matter at the end of the day is yourself, so be you in all your glory. Lastly, you just have to remember that you are human mistakes, miscommunication and misunderstanding will happen but that’s life and life is complicated you will not be able to control every situation that pops up. You just have to be you, and go through the ups and downs that is dating but never change who you are, do not be afraid to be yourself because when the right person comes along they’re not going to want to change a single thing about you because you are amazing just the way you are.