It doesn’t matter how much you have been preparing for this moment, somehow finals are upon us and there is a seemingly impossible amount of work to do before the end. Questions like, “When did we learn this!?” and “How is it possible I still have two more “midterms” before my finals in a week?” rush through your brain as you try to focus for the homestretch. Finals are an awful, stress filled nightmare; they are a time that seems to disconnect from reality, and transport us to a haze of pain and fear. These quotes from “The Good Place”, a show which hilariously describes the nature of the afterlife easily sum up the emotional roller coaster that is finals.
1) Honestly there are few descriptions that better describe finals than Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis…
Janet: Hi, there! We have a Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis.
Michael: A Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis!?… Tahani, dear, could you show us to a private room where no one can see or hear us, even if I yell very loudly out of fear?
2) We turn into Chidi when people ask whether we are getting enough sleep
“I got a solid eight minutes. Not consecutively, but still. It’s fine. You’re not even that blurry.
3) The end of the semester brings the focus of Eleanor during ethics lessons (and the increased focus on food of course)
Chidi: Questions?
Eleanor: Uh, yeah, a few. I wrote down “what?”, “huh?”, and then this doodle of a burrito because I thought when I first read Aristotle I thought it was pronounced like Chipotle.
4) When the stress begins to take its toll
“Okay, I’ve made my decision. I want to… start crying.”
5) Sometimes trying to get yourself out of scrapes leaves you feeling a bit like Jason…
“I’m telling you, Molotov cocktails work. Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away, I had a different problem.”
6) Battling to cram in a semester’s worth of graded discussion comments into two classes…
“I have no idea what’s going on right now but everyone else is talking and I think I should too!”
7) Catching that end of semester bitterness
“Well, I’ve read everything on your syllabus and, how do I put this delicately, it’s all stupid garbage”
8) When people ask how you are enjoying college, but you’ve felt like screaming for the past couple of weeks
“Okay, bud, whatever’s going on right now, just shove your feelings way down deep, plaster on a fake smile, and pretend like you’re having fun. Okay?”
9) The realization that getting through finals will not fix all your problems (like the issue of what you want to do with your life when you finally graduate)
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t think this can be solved with a book”
10) And finally, the messages we repeat to ourselves, despite our growing fear that we are actually in “The Bad Place”
“Welcome. Everything is fine!”
Although finals week can make college feel like “The Bad Place”, remember that it won’t last forever. Soon the semester will be over and we can all take a well-deserved break to celebrate the end of another semester. Good luck with finals, and remember to take care of yourselves!
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