This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Utah chapter.
When I was about to dive in with my current human, I scoured every article I could find to try and have the “perfect” relationship. All I seemed to find were the same ten pieces of advice each telling me to probably avoid the distance all together. But I didn’t. After being in a relationship where my SO is halfway across the world, I realized that the only 5 pieces of advice I wish I knew were these:
1. It’s Us vs. The Problem not You vs. Me
I think it’s super cute to think of you and your significant other (SO) as players on the same team. Also this type of mentality helps prevent resentment that comes when you fight about something superficial instead of dealing with the actual problem at hand.
2. Care Packages
Whenever I used to search for care package ideas on Pinterest my self esteem would plummet. After a few really good tries and a polite recommendation I realized the best things I would send and received were the things that couldn’t be created. Clothes that smell like your SO are really comforting.
3. “Introduce” them to your friends
Whenever I have someone new to meet my SO I first introduce him to them as my laptop. I mean it sometimes does feel like I’m dating my laptop and not a person. That makes it easy to have him become a separate part of my life from my friends. To prevent that it’s important to try and involve your SO and your friends together as much as possible. That way when they come to visit you can all hang out together and it’s not awkward.
4. Still be yourself
I have found that being in a LDR I have more control over what my SO sees. I can say no to a Facetime when I just wake up and haven’t put my face on. I couldn’t do that if he woke up next to me. I find myself to be most enamoured by him when he’s tying up his boots or when he’s doing something small. It’s the little moments that mean the most because these are the things you miss out on because you’re not physically together.
5. Just Hangout
Hardly anyone can spare an extra 2 hours to just sit and talk to someone, and no offense, but it’s kind of a waste of time. We are the generation of multi-taskers . So my SO and I hangout/Facetime as we would in real life. I can be doing homework while he’s playing video games. No need to try and fill the whole time with conversation, just spend time together.