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Grab your scented roll-on body glitter, girls, ‘cause we’re taking you back in time to the middle school dance.

Let us preface this by saying that this may only be funny and relatable if you were in middle school within the years 2006 to 2012.

 

Annie. Yeah….

 

The stress! The excitement! So much thought needs to be put into the dance: which friends you’re getting ready with, what to wear, and….wait. Did someone say….Which boy you want to go with? Sssssshhhhh, don’t tell anybody, though. You don’t just like him as a friend. You like-like him.

 

What are you going to wear? You go through your room and find all sorts of options for clothing and accessories. You lay it all out. Organized from head to toe, here’s what you find.

 

Beanies. Fedoras. Newsboy caps. Wide headbands. Spiky rubber stud earrings. Puka shell necklaces. Shutter shades. Neon wayfarers. Skinny scarves. Abercrombie polos. T-shirts with the Aeropostale, American Eagle, or Hollister logos emblazoned obnoxiously on the front. Dozens of spaghetti strap tank tops to layer to your heart’s desire. Tops with big, wide rugby stripes. Shrug cardigans. Hot Topic band wristbands. Silly Bandz. Jelly bracelets. (Didn’t each color mean something naughty?!?) Brightly-colored skinny jeans. Flared jeans. Gaucho pants. Asymmetrical skirts. Jean skirts (bonus points if you add leggings underneath). Soffe shorts. Studded belts. Sash belts. Etnies. Heelys. Converse (bonus points if you wear them with a dress or if you have the knee-high style). Ugg boots. Platform flip-flops. Toe rings. Anything with peace signs. Anything with the Paul Frank monkey. Anything from Billabong. Anything from Claire’s.

 

You finally create the perfect outfit. Now you have to do your hair and makeup.

 

Hairstyle Ideas:

  1. Side ponytail.

  2. Straighten, straighten, straighten until your hair might as well have burned off.

  3. Crimp, crimp, crimp until you hair might as well have burned off.

  4. Pull the hair around your face into a “bump” on the top of your head.

  5. Barrettes.

  6. Wide, shiny headband.

 

Makeup Step-By-Step:

  1. Cover up your acne. Powder up your face. Then overdo it on the bronzer and/or the blush.

  2. You could do two different things with your eyes.

    1. Apply some eyeshadow. A bright blue, purple, orange, or yellow may do. Or you could do a metallic shade.

    2. Color in half your eyelids with black eyeliner. It’s not complete until you look like a panda. Make sure you get it smudged under your eye too.

  3. Top your lashes off with some colored mascara.

  4. For your lips, you could do some Cherry Coke Lip Smackers or a sparkly gloss. Or both! If you do some gloss, make sure you put on so much that it’s difficult for your lips to separate due to the globs of gloss. Yum.

 

Before you go to the dance, you need to take a selfie with your digital camera in the mirror. Make sure flash is on! Use a diagonal angle; it’s artsy.

 

Danielle. Iconic.

 

Dance time! First, head over to the snack table. Get some Cheetos and chug some Sprite, because you’ll be dancing all night until 10 P.M. when your mom’s minivan swings by school.

 

Cha Cha Slide – Mr. C

I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas

Low – Flo Rida (feat. T-Pain)

TiK ToK – Ke$ha

Don’t Stop The Music – Rihanna

Yeah! – Usher (feat. Lil Jon and Ludacris)

Hot N Cold – Katy Perry

I Like It – Enrique Iglesias (feat. Pitbull)

Cupid Shuffle – Cupid

SexyBack – Justin Timberlake

Look At Me Now – Chris Brown (feat. Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes)

Wobble – V.I.C.

Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas

Womanizer – Britney Spears

Stereo Love – Edward Maya (feat. Vika Jigulina)

Wop – J. Dash

Right Round – Flo Rida

Fergalicious – Fergie (feat. will.i.am)

Whatcha Say – Jason Derulo

Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) – Beyoncé

Cat Daddy – The Rej3ctz

Super Bass – Nicki Minaj

Firework –  Katy Perry

All I Do Is Win – DJ Khaled (feat. T-Pain, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg, and Rick Ross)

Baby – Justin Bieber (feat. Ludacris)

A Milli – Lil Wayne

Everytime We Touch – Cascada

You’re A Jerk – New Boyz

Let It Rock – Kevin Rudolf (feat. Lil Wayne)

Moves Like Jagger – Maroon 5 (feat. Christina Aguilera)

Crank That (Soulja Boy) – Soulja Boy

One Time – Justin Bieber

Gasolina – Daddy Yankee

Teenage Dream – Katy Perry

In My Head – Jason Derulo

Like A G6 – Far East Movement (feat. The Cataracs and DEV)

Teach Me How to Dougie – Cali Swag District

Beautiful Girls – Sean Kingston

Party Rock Anthem – LMFAO (feat. Lauren Bennett and GoonRock)

Stronger – Kanye West

Bottoms Up – Trey Songz (feat. Nicki Minaj)

We R Who We R – Ke$ha

Down – Jay Sean (feat. Lil Wayne)

This Is Why I’m Hot – MiMS

Only Girl (In The World) – Rihanna

Mr. Saxobeat – Alexandra Stan

Animal – Neon Trees

Get Low – Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz (feat. Ying Yang Twins)

I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho) – Pitbull

Good Girls Go Bad – Cobra Starship (feat. Leighton Meester)

Party In The U.S.A. – Miley Cyrus

Replay – Iyaz

In The Ayer – Flo Rida (feat. will.i.am)

Dynamite – Taio Cruz

Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen

Lollipop – Lil Wayne (feat. Static Major)

Tonight Tonight – Hot Chelle Rae

Glad You Came – The Wanted

Empire State Of Mind – Jay Z (feat. Alicia Keys)

Cooler Than Me – Mike Posner (feat. Big Sean)

OMG – Usher (feat. will.i.am)

California Gurls – Katy Perry (feat. Snoop Dogg)

Temperature – Sean Paul

Hips Don’t Lie – Shakira (feat. Wyclef Jean)

Kiss Me Thru The Phone – Soulja Boy (feat. Sammie)

 

If your friends talk you into it, you’ll be lucky enough to dance with that boy that you like-like to one of these top tunes. Try to not mind the teacher chaperones and the dozens of people forming a mob around you two as if you were animals in a zoo exhibit. And don’t look at each other in the eye.

 

Hey There Delilah – Plain White T’s

1, 2, 3, 4 – Plain White T’s

Just the Way You Are – Bruno Mars

It Will Rain – Bruno Mars

If I Were a Boy – Beyoncé

Don’t Matter – Akon

Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis

 

Even though the best three hours of your life are over, the party’s not over just yet. Because you did your chores without being asked twice, you get to have a friend sleep over tonight. Congratulations!

 

Senior Editor, Alyssa, rocking her checkered high-tops at the dance.

 

HC XOXO

Annie + Danielle

 

 

 

Annie is Co-Campus Correspondent for Her Campus at USF St. Petersburg and a social media writer for USF St. Petersburg Marketing and Communications Department. She is majoring in Sociology and Criminology and minoring in Psychology and Leadership. "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves." - Thomas Edison
Danielle Lysik is a senior at USFSP majoring in Marketing with a minor in Mass Communications. Danielle's main passion in life is music and loves going to concerts whenever possible. Aside from music, Danielle loves to read and spend time with her family and friends. 
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