“Is It Better to Speak or to Die?” Women’s Voices Throughout History

Scrolling through one of TikTok’s many trend cycles in the past, I would often encounter an audio set to a line from Call Me by Your Name: “is it better to speak or to die?” As one does, I watched for about ten of the fifteen seconds and continued on with my short form dopamine hunt. Now, I’m no fan (or supporter) of Call Me by Your Name, but that quote resonated with me and of course, I went on a deep dive.  

Call Her by Her Name 

Derived from The Heptameron, the quote comes from a collection of short stories written by Marguerite de Navarre in the early 16^th century. Despite being a part of the French nobility at the time, she was quite the opposite from the stuffy-overdressed-apathetic court members we would see in a movie like Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette. Marguerite de Navarre was a humanitarian, involving her high society friends to raise money for impoverished and at-risk communities in her area and even convincing her brother to create a hospital for abandoned children. She was often under suspicion for heresy by the Faculty of Theology but chose to continue intricately weaving her own thoughts on ethics and the philosophies of life into her writing. Marguerite chose to speak, to publish her voice and her opinions to the public. 

Historical Hysteria 

For thousands of years women have been forced into societally subservient roles. A book series called the Moral Encyclopedia published by a man, Charles Varle in 1831, instructed women to “avoid everything masculine”, to talk only about things that they understand, and to “consult only your own relations.” This micromanaging of women was constant and unyielding. In 1835, James Cowles Prichard coined a term “eccentricity of conduct” which referred to a behavior or action that deviated from societal standards at the time. Any women who were assertive in their marriages, read books, or pursued an education could be considered morally insane and institutionalized.  

Collective Power 

Despite the barrage of restrictions put onto women in a vain effort to limit their abilities and freedom, women chose to speak up against their oppressors and advocate, rather than die quietly and complacent. Women began to organize, and they did not back down. Groups like the National Woman Suffrage Movement began cropping up in the late 1800’s, rallying for reform across the nation and within the government, and notably fighting for the right to vote. Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton, both founding members of the National Woman Suffrage Association, started a publication called The Revolution as their main form of information dispersal to large groups of people. With a tagline aptly titled “The true republic.- men, their rights and nothing more: women, their rights and nothing less”, the publication was filled with a myriad of writing from poetry to a woman’s firsthand account of her experience being able to visit Congress. The Revolution was a safe space for women to write about whatever their heart desired and have their stories be heard in a male dominated field. This courage to write, to speak, led to success in passing the 19^th amendment, giving women the right to vote. 

Despite the constant cycling of trends and temporary fads, one thing has always remained true: the idea that there is power in sharing your story, both for yourself and others. Back in 2006, Tarana Burke, a social activist and organizer first used the phrase #MeToo and began “building a community of advocates determined to stop sexual harassment violence wherever it happens”. The hashtag quietly sat on the back burner until 2017, when actress Alyssa Milano tweeted out “If you’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted write ‘me too’ as a reply to this tweet”, and the phrase went viral. In 2018 alone, over 19 million people used the hashtag. As the movement grew and more people began sharing their story, there was a collective feeling of empowerment- people felt safe to tell their story. The hashtag went beyond social media, turning into lawsuits and unraveling decades of sexual violence that had infiltrated so many facets of life. That year, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission saw a 13.6% increase in reported sexual harassment charges. The widespread effects of this movement could not have been achieved had it not been for those who first spoke out. 

Whether it be reflecting on the 16^th century or living in the 21^st we have power. Our voices have power. Marguerite de Navarre follows up her iconic quote by saying that “I shall always counsel my friends to speak and not to die. There are few words that cannot be mended, but life once lost can never be regained.” Her point here remains unwavering in that it is always better to speak, whether it be confined to the pages of a journal or shouted through a megaphone. Words are powerful, and it is up to us to speak up and speak out. 

• #history
• empower
• female voices
• mental health
• SPEAKING OUT