A week ago, I quit my job.
No, it wasn’t a bad work environment and it wasn’t a difficult job. I really did enjoy it. In fact, it was a perfect, on-campus job that literally paid me to sit at a desk and do homework on most days.I just wasn’t happy with where I was as a human being and that is okay.
Let me provide a little context. For about a year now, I have been working two jobs (about 19 hours per week) while attending classes full time. At first it was okay, I could balance my course load and my jobs and I felt great— I was a real college student!
You see, I wanted to make it work so bad, to show everyone it was possible to pour yourself into clubs, organizations, your job AND being a biology major. Eventually, I had told myself this so much that I had put who I was and what I wanted in the background. Before I knew it, the drive and passion I had for my University which I had cherished so much once before had ebbed away without my consent. I just didn’t care anymore. I was miserable, so I quit.
Now, that does not mean that I quit everything. I’m still working—just not as much. I am still in student organizations and I still hold one of my positions on campus, of which takes at least eight hours of my week. I’m just not doing something that caused me to focus my energy and attention on something not beneficial for me personally, professionally, and academically. I’ve eliminated something to give myself more time to focus on my studies and myself because I felt like I hadn’t possessed any control of it before.
While I have only experienced my newfound freedom for only one week so far, the change I feel within myself is tremendous. A weight has been lifted that I cannot exactly explain in words other then light and lightness themselves.
Quitting my job was one step towards a long journey of self care and reflection regardless of how much inner turmoil it may have caused. While leaving your place of employment may not be the answer or even possible in your case, I encourage you to take the leap towards your happiness. Put yourself first, you need it.
HCXOXO,
Alexis