For as long as I can remember, I have always been the type of person to think way into the future. Instead of just focusing on the present, I think about how every single little decision I make will affect what I decide to do years from now. I let society and those around me get into my head, turning me away from careers and dreams that I was once so passionate about. It got to the point where I wasn’t even sure if I was passionate about anything anymore.
Coming into college as a freshman was scary because to me, that is the crucial step where I need to figure out what I want to do with my life before heading off into the real world on my own. Within those four years, you are expected to figure out what career you want to pursue so that you can study and work towards it. Not everyone may think this way, but it is how the idea of college was instilled in my brain.
Freshman year came, and the pressure was already on. I went into the year as a Biology major, with my mind set on going into the medical field. This decision of going into the medical field was mainly influenced by family members closest to me, telling me how the medical field was where the money is at. Although having a good chunk of change in my bank account all the time would be nice, that is not what is most important to me. Whatever career I choose needs to be something that I know I will genuinely be happy doing. I would rather be happy and make an average income that will get me the basic necessities, than be miserable and have all the money in the world. I began to realize that I was so focused on all the money I would be making as a potential doctor instead of whether or not the actual job itself would be the best suit for me. I had friends that were trying to become doctors because it was something that they have always so desperately wanted. They have dreamed about being a doctor for as long as they can remember and have already begun taking the necessary steps to get there. Seeing and hearing how invested and excited they were showed me that I wasn’t at the point that I wanted to be at.
Sophomore year of college arrived, and I made the decision to make my concentration Marine Biology. I love the water, and I am so fascinated with how the ocean is so large yet so much of it is undiscovered. I always thought about how cool it would be to save an endangered species or to discover a whole new species on my own. The ocean has always been so magical to me, and I love learning about it any chance I get. However, before I could even get to taking classes that fell under the Marine Biology concentration, I felt myself having doubts again. Although I found the ocean to be so interesting, I didn’t feel like I was as excited about it as I should have been. I dreaded having to pick classes every semester because I just did not want to take them.
Since my typical weeks at school are always so busy, I never had time to just stop and sort my life out. I found that I kept trying too hard to stick to a career in Biology because I didn’t want all of my work to go to waste. I can vividly remember all the stressful nights filled with lab reports and 8+ hour long study sessions about Cell Biology, and I couldn’t bear the fact that it would all be going down the drain if I decided to change my major. Having a laid back summer allowed me to think more about this whole situation and how I was going about this the wrong way. Instead of thinking about how much work would be going down the drain if I changed my major, I should be thinking about how I should be taking advantage of my time in college now and put my time and money towards what I really want to do while I have the chance.
This summer is when the light bulb finally went on. After attending a Dance Marathon leadership conference and hearing the success stories from kids that were patients at various children’s hospitals, I felt inspired. This past Spring, I was on the e-board for my school’s Dance Marathon, which allowed for me to learn more about how this event and all the money raised benefits the hospital and children so much. Hearing about the impact the work I have done so far with Dance Marathon has made on all of these kids left me with such a rewarding feeling – a feeling I knew I would love to receive everyday in the career I choose. So I decided to do some research, and I finally found a career I am already excited about – the career of a child life specialist. As a child life specialist, I would be working with children and their families to help them cope with their health challenges/obstacles. It sounds cliché, but for as long as I can remember, I have always told my mom that I wanted to make a difference in this world. Just thinking about the impact that I can potentially make on these kids one day makes my heart feel so full. This is exactly what I have been wanting and looking for.
So to anyone out there who might be going through this same situation of not knowing what they want to do with their life, just remember that it is okay to not have your life all figured out right away. You will go through some trial and error but trust me, that light bulb in your head is going to light up one day, and it is going to feel amazing when you find what it is that you want to do in the world. Stay positive and push through!
HCXOXO,
Shayla Fajardo