So, it goes a little like this: all I ever waited for throughout high school was university. I wanted to be independent. I wanted to go to class by choice, not force. I wanted to study something that I actually cared about and not just a dumpster full of every subject that existed.
I got to uni and I was stoked!! At this point the possibilities were endless! I was really enjoying my classes, even the general education ones. Who would’ve thought? Well, that didn’t last very long. About one semester, to be precise. All the zeal I had at one point, was gone and now my motivation level is at zero, zip, nada.
I became “too cool for school”. Literally. I thought that I was too cool to care for anything that required any involvement. “School spirit is for losers”. All the clubs I once wanted to join. All the organizations I dreamed of leading. All the change I wanted to make. I no longer cared. I became so fixated on a single point; that point being graduation.
At this very moment, graduation is two days away. At the same time during this very moment, it feels as if my sole being is longing to hold on to these moments for as much as I can. I finally remembered to enjoy my time here. Too little, too late.
It was less than a month ago I was talking to my boss at work about how I just want to finish. He told me to hang on, because soon enough time will flash before my eyes at a speed I would not have thought possible. He was way too right, and I wish he wasn’t.
It might be because all my life I’ve been a student, and I know no other way. Or, because I’ve dedicated so much time to an institution that, honestly, offered my so much in return. But, really, I think it’s because of my involvement this semester.
At the beginning of this semester, I decided that i wanted to get involved. I know, what reminded me after four years? I was still in that “too cool for school” mode don’t get me wrong. I just figured I only have a few months left, so i won’t have to suffer too long, and anything could really beef up my résumé.
I was wrong. I’m suffering more than ever, because I finally came to the realisation that I missed out on too much. I have never had more fun, made more connections, or learned more, than right now.
So, to all the days in uni that I’ve neglected, overlooked and ignored: I wish that I cared more, became more engaged and involved, and I wish that I paid attention to each and every moment that I now say I loved. I guess, reality is, it’s about moving on. Truly blessed. Truly grateful. Thank you.