If I had to choose one word that describes me as a kid, it wouldn’t be hard to decide. I was complacent. It was easy to flow through life when I didn’t put pressure on myself. It was stress-free, straightforward, and uncomplicated. Yet, despite being a simple life, there was always something missing. Boredom began to creep in, and I began to feel stagnant. I never stepped out of my comfort zone, and I never challenged myself with anything that could lead me to feel any discomfort.
I found myself content with being in the same place, after all, it was safe. Yet, as I began to grow up, I found myself dreading the plain future I had set myself up for. Each similar day made me sink deeper and deeper into a state of despondency. Everyone around me began to succeed in their own corners of the world, and I felt like I was spiraling under with no way to pull myself out.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it to myself, I was terrified of attempting to change. Negativity clouded my mind, and I couldn’t focus on the possibility of success, I could only think of the predetermined failure. If I tried my hardest at something and I didn’t succeed, I would be marked as a failure, and if there was one thing I was scared of, it was the act of failing.
I wish I could say there was some pivotal moment in my life that caused me to turn everything around, however that wasn’t the case. The truth (though a bit more boring) was that I continued to watch the world around me turn as I continued to feel stuck. I never really took any risks until it came to an imminent part of my career: College application season. It would have been easy to stay close to my hometown or go somewhere that I had immediate family around. However, I knew in my heart that I really wanted to go somewhere new, different, and far. Despite my previous logic holding me back, I applied anyway.
I learned that putting myself out there and being a bit vulnerable wasn’t as scary as I initially thought. It felt terrifying in the moment, but afterwards, that nervousness churned into a fearless excitement. The idea of what-if turned into a tangible experience. And soon enough, I was accepted. Despite being fully exposed and open, it didn’t end in tragedy.
I didn’t immediately start jumping at every opportunity after that. I continued to play it safe, yet I began slowly trying new things. I joined clubs that interested me, and went to events by myself. Putting myself out there made me learn more about who I was and what I liked.
That doesn’t mean I didn’t ever fail. I got rejection letters from jobs and literary magazines I applied to, or didn’t click with clubs and friend groups. However, I began to realize that rejection wasn’t as scary as it seems. Once I realized that, the world seemed open, discoverable, and attainable. I mourned experiences I had lost, but knew I could achieve so much more if I just tried.
This mindset shift has made every day even more enjoyable for me. Sure, sometimes I shoot and I fall, but more often than not I reach and I achieve. Trying can be scary, but never trying will always be even worse. If you’re feeling stuck, try something out of your comfort zone, do something to shake up your life a little bit. There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable, but you can’t grow in a comfort zone. This is your life, and it’s your responsibility to make it your own!