I never thought I would find myself video calling my sister to fangirl about a Korean pop band —but it happened, and it changed our relationship from that point forward.
Becoming a fan of BTS was something I never saw coming. They impacted my life in different ways when I finally allowed myself to be charmed by their talent. I could easily go into detail about each one of them, but one of the most meaningful things about becoming an ARMY– the name of their fans– is that it gave me something to share with my 15-year-old sister.
She has been following BTS for about a year longer than me. I used to get annoyed with her for talking about them during our sparse phone calls; I wanted to know about her life, not about a group of singers. I didn’t understand her passion, and, honestly, I was a little judgmental. “You only get to mention them twice per call,” I would say.
We have always had a close relationship, but a five-year gap is still significant. With her back home in Colombia and me being in college in the U.S., it was hard to find time to chat and make the most out of it. The force of fandom changed this.
When quarantine started, I thought it might be my time to finally give the group a fair chance (with James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke, of course). The first thing I did, naturally, was proceeding to ask my sister to identify the members for me. After that night in April, I started a fangirling journey that I’ve been living alongside one of the most important people in my life.
I realized how important and rewarding it is to validate other people’s passions, and it was an eye-opening lesson about prejudice. I came to see things like cultural alienation and the overall inherent sociocultural undermining of teenage female fandom. In my case, by actively dismissing something so meaningful to my sister, I had been missing out on an opportunity to connect with her.
With the summer months of last year also came the fact that, for the first time, I wasn’t going to be able to return to Colombia and spend the break with my family because of Coronavirus restrictions. I missed my sister very much. But talking with her about something I know she loves became a part of my routine that made me feel so much closer to her. I would ask her things about the seven members or share my thoughts about the performances and music videos I discovered. If you are familiar with fandom, you know how exciting this process is. We would video call so she could see my reaction to content she had seen several times already, and we would laugh for hours.
Throughout this journey, she has been the voice of authority. For me, as the older one, it has been an interesting and enjoyable experience to have her teach me. Finding common ground on a topic that excites us to hilarious levels was one of the things that got me through quarantine.
Recently with the release of Dynamite, when we were freaking out via Facetime, or with the Map of the Soul ON:E online concert, I realized it is not only a common interest but experiences we are now sharing. Especially in these times of social distancing, this is incredibly valuable. Our relationship is just another example of how fandom and art create a space to form unique bonds, whether with internet friends you have never seen in real life or with someone you are already close with.
With their indescribable way of moving people, BTS has brought me closer to my sister, and I see her even more as a friend and someone I can tell everything to—reminding me how lucky I am to have that. Now our love for the group is an important part of our dynamic, and it gave us the dream to maybe one day see them in concert together.