Upon reading the title of this article you are probably wondering why an almost 21 year old can just learn about boundaries and know how to set them. My journey towards setting a boundary comes at the most perfect time it could. To get into it, my mother and I have had a tumultuous relationship since I was a child. Being a daughter of a narcissist comes with its ups and downs (mostly downs) so when I realized we were not really helping each other, and she was only hurting me, I made the decision of going no contact with my mom. I decided from the nature of our relationship that I didn’t need to have this big talk with her and just decided I would not pick up her phone calls. That was the easy part because the calls were non-existent. My dad was my biggest supporter in this. I remember calling him and telling him and the first words he said to me were “you should be so proud of yourself”. My dad also helped me set the boundary by telling my mom if she wanted to get in contact with me she would have to go through him. It was incredible to have my dad’s support and backing through this.
Setting this boundary has been like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. It has been the best I have felt in years. I have completely cut out the drama and negative energy that comes with having a relationship with my mom. The added stress and anxiety that came with her has just vanished. I feel more empowered than ever and it has made me stronger in the long run. Having a good support system and remembering that you are more than the words that someone tells you that you are you can do things that free you. I hope everyone could feel as free and lightweight as I do, as you deserve to feel like this too.
Set the boundary and take control of your life.