I’ve been quarantined for a little over two weeks now. In early March, I never thought this would be my reality – my semester cut short, moved back home with my parents, and can barely see the outside world.
I’m 19 now. I’ll turn 20 this summer – and while I’m thankful that I have the privilege to be surrounded by family with a roof over my head and food on the table – I definitely didn’t think that I would be spending the last months of my teens like this.
This sentiment is shared by many of my peers. They’re upset that they are 20 – or about to be 20, or 21, or 22, and so on – and feeling like they are stuck back in high school. They’re frustrated that they are living at home and abiding by rules they haven’t dealt with since they were 16.
I keep hearing the phrase “I’m 20, I should be…” followed by some stereotype or right of passage for someone beginning their adult life. And while I agree that this isn’t what a 20-year-old should be doing (or anyone of any age for that matter) – I find it troubling to pave a path for our lives set out by expectations of those that experienced it before us, expectations that aren’t even necessarily rooted in reality.
People always talk about how their 20’s were wild. Years full of mistakes and regret – but years of immense growth and adventure. I found that even pre-COVID-19 there was still a pressure to do certain things simply because we are 20 and that’s what’s expected of people that age. We try to match the experiences of the stories we hear and are often left feeling anxious when our current situations pale in comparison.
Instead of living by the expectation society has for a certain age, generation, or time in our lives, I find myself asking why can’t we just live as we are now? What is the point in trying to mimic something you really can only appreciate in hindsight and through rose-colored glasses?
I write this not to belittle the feeling of the many young adults across the world who feel trapped. I too am upset that my life seems to be put on halt in a time where I feel like it was only just beginning. I write this to provide some solace for others in my position. Maybe at this exact moment we aren’t living like we’re told a 20-year-old should, but what does that mean anyways?
The truth is the 20’s are years filled with growth and adventure but that will look different for everyone – and especially for those of different generations. Maybe I’m being a huge hypocrite – after all, I haven’t even entered this new decade, so what can I really base this all on? All I know is that I would hate to look back on my 20’s and feel like I lived a certain way only because, well, I’m in my 20’s.