Oh, Valentine’s Day! Most people talk about this day in relation to their romantic partner or even someone they have a crush on, but friendship is important, too. Love springs from many places on Valentine’s Day, but for true love to exist, we need to build a friendship. One explanation for the origin of Valentine’s Day tells the story of a priest named Valentine who married a soldier and civilian, even though the emperor at the time had forbidden young soldiers to marry. He did this because he believed that even if his life were to be sacrificed so that others could receive God’s grace upon their love, his actions would be worthwhile. This deep connection and true love between the couple inspired this priest to dedicate his life to helping relationships receive God’s grace, even at the cost of his own life. Therefore, we need to build a friendship with our partner to experience true love that goes beyond mere affection, but rather a deep connection, because that’s how we will have a lasting bond.
What might happen if we don’t have a friendship with our partner? Sometimes people meet each other through a common friend or via dating apps, and, after a few days together, we start saying we want a relationship with the other because they seem like a nice person, but is this enough for a good relationship? The answer is no; in the beginning, it will be an attraction and a desire to know the other, but as time passes, the appearance will deteriorate while the connection must persist. It’s important to get to know someone on a deeper level; get to know the other person’s hobbies, flaws, strengths, and favorites and try to find a connection beyond the superficial. For example, it is sad to meet your boyfriend’s family and have a nice time with them, only to break up with him a week later because you found each other incompatible. A few couples, when they see they might be incompatible, still put in the effort to connect with each other and build a friendship. This is not bad at all because, even if they didn’t start out being friends, it is not too late to still build a friendship. Even though we might start seeing someone and realize we don’t have common interests, we can still be friends (if both parties agree), because if a relationship doesn’t work out, we might as well get a good friend out of it.
On the contrary, if we start getting to know someone and become friends, we might just prepare the base for what could be a strong and healthy relationship. Imagine if the person you hope to have a relationship with, based on how little you know them, turns out to be hateful and pessimistic, but you didn’t know this until you had spent six months being in a relationship with that person. If you were friends with that person before becoming a couple, you would know his personality before getting emotionally engaged and taking on the responsibility of that union. After being friends, you will probably have a better knowledge of their flaws, strengths, interests, and passions that will help build a good relationship. To have a good relationship, it is important to have common goals, confidence, and communication, among other factors. All these things can be built from a friendship because it carves an easier path to have a successful partnership. This is not to say that disagreements or miscommunication will never occur, but when we have a better understanding of the person we are with, it’s easier to deal with them. Therefore, understanding and getting to know the person we are interested in as a friend will help us to have a better relationship with them in the future.
As we can see, just as the priest Valentine believed that sacrificing his life for the grace of love was worthwhile, we must also value the effort of building a true friendship with our partners. It is not enough to simply feel attraction or spend time together for a few weeks; we need to go deeper into knowing the other person’s hobbies, flaws, and strengths. By choosing to be friends first, we create a strong base that helps us understand the person we are with before we become emotionally engaged. This path makes it much easier to handle disagreements and miscommunications in the future since we have already built a foundation of confidence and common goals. Ultimately, when we treat our partner as a friend, we are not just looking for a relationship, but a deep connection that will allow our love to truly last.