Our relationship is over, what now!?
The end of a relationship can be both emotionally challenging and transformative. Whether it was a romantic partnership, a friendship, or a close familial bond, the aftermath of a breakup can leave you feeling lost, hurt, and uncertain about the future. I remember asking myself, “What now? What am I supposed to do?” I didn’t realize I was my own person, and the experience of feeling alone was difficult. The real challenge arises when you must focus on college and handle heartbreak. Knowing that I am not the first nor the last, here is what you need to do:
1. Give Yourself the Time to Process and Feel
Emotions drive us, and it’s crucial to understand what we’re feeling. Men often delay dealing with emotions, while women can fall in love in an instant. This quick attachment makes breakups hit harder, something I’ve learned the hard way. Caring deeply and quickly has caused me some trouble…
The point is, let those tears flow if you need to. Grab a tub of ice cream, watch a movie like “The Notebook,” and send voice memos to friends – whatever helps you cope. It might not be a solution for everyone, but if it works for you, go for it!
2. Rediscover Your Self-Identity
One of the most profound revelations after a breakup is the opportunity to reclaim your identity. In a relationship, it’s common to blend aspects of yourself with your partner’s, which can result in a diminished sense of your individuality. One strategy that worked for me was reflecting on activities I enjoyed before the relationship. Perhaps you had stopped attending your Thursday yoga class or it’s been quite a while since you visited that café with your friends.
3. Seek Support
The support from my friends proved to be ABSOLUTELY essential in maintaining my sanity during the initial months. Friends play a pivotal role in helping you process your emotions by providing a platform for open discussion. The situation can improve dramatically if you’re lucky enough to have a friend well-versed in this process, much like I am…
I believe we all have that one friend who has navigated a diverse range of experiences, making them exceptionally equipped to offer the best guidance. And if, for some reason, friends aren’t accessible, I suggest indulging in movies featuring characters undergoing breakups or those that humorously shed light on the indecisiveness of men.
4. Set Personal Goals
Wondering, “What should I do now?” can be the motivation that gets you started on chasing new personal goals. This is an ideal time to evaluate your aspirations and create a roadmap for your future. Whether it’s pursuing further education, advancing in your career, traveling, or focusing on a particular hobby, having goals to work towards can infuse your life with purpose and direction. I am not saying that you turn yourself into a workaholic; keep your goals high but do not overwhelm yourself.
5. Cut Ties
Cutting ties can be challenging if you hold onto the hope of reconciliation. If you know that things ended well and having them on social media isn’t an issue, you can keep them. However, if you find yourself constantly checking their social media profiles and feeling trapped in a loop of stalking, it’s important to address this behavior. Social media can make it easy to stay connected, but it can also hinder your healing process. Consider unfollowing or muting their profiles temporarily to create some distance. This can help you focus on your journey without getting caught up in their life.
So, my main advice is: delete them from Be Real—you do not need to see them at parties or asking “who’s going out tonight.” Mute that Instagram profile. Stop checking the follower count and seeing how it goes up, and refrain from asking who they met during that time. Lastly, don’t you dare check those TikTok reposts if you’re not trying to get hurt.
In conclusion, I hope these five steps can help you get over that relationship. Remember that the healing process is not linear, and it’s okay to feel sadness after the end of something you believed would last forever. Keep yourself consistently positive, and as Brenna Berg from TikTok said: “You’re smart, you’re pretty, you’re funny, you’re genuine, you’re caring, what did you lose?”