The mind can be a human’s own worst enemy. For as long as I can remember, whether I had a test, an oral presentation, a race, or a sports tournament, I always set myself up for failure. Regardless of the sweat I put into studying or preparing, I would always expect a negative outcome, as if convincing myself for the worst would ensure the exact opposite. Repeatedly, I noticed how this pattern was proven true. When I anticipated the worst case scenario, accomplishment would fall right into my arms. On the contrary, when I chose to stay optimistic, non-fulfillment would strike me. If thinking negatively and pessimistically had always worked in my favor, why should I replace it with a positive mindset?
Talking down to myself was a part of my daily routine, and it became very overwhelming. Even when I did things the best I could, my mind would persuade me into believing I could have done better, that I wasn’t good enough. These thoughts led me to constantly compare myself to those around me while criticizing everything about myself. But it wasn’t until the beginning of the new year that reality hit me.
In early January, a wise woman told me:“If you stopped criticizing yourself and thinking catastrophically maybe you would be happier.” Perhaps she was right. I needed to improve my self-talk if I wanted to see a change in my life. Yet, I couldn’t have been that negative, right? “How to know if you are a negative person?” I typed into Google’s search bar. The Health-line platform published an article written by Kimberly Holland explaining the four categories of negative self-talk: “1)Personalizing: you blame yourself for everything. 2)Magnifying: you only focus on the negative aspects of a situation. 3)Catastrophizing: you always expect the worst, and rarely let logic or reason persuade you otherwise. 4)Polarizing: you see the world as only good and bad. There’s nothing in between and no middle ground for processing and categorizing life events.”
After reading this I thought to myself: Dang. You do all of these.
On account of this, I made it my new primary goal to incorporate at least one positive affirmation into my daily routine, and to correct myself anytime I noticed I was falling in the negativity trap again. Instead of saying: “You did terrible” or “You are not getting a good grade,” I would reframe it to: “You did the best you could” and “There is no use in worrying about things that are no longer in your control.” Besides that, I also started journaling on a daily basis. Seeing my thoughts and feelings jotted down on a piece of paper helped me recognize and acknowledge them for what they are, just thoughts and not realities.
For instance, May 2025, during the final weeks of the semester, I had a difficult group project for one of my classes. At that moment, my team had trouble working well together, which was causing me a lot of stress. The old me would’ve probably burst out into anxiety and tried to do everything by herself, expecting the worst possible grade. Fortunately, this new version of myself was determined to let go of those negative habits, allowing me to trust others and focus on what I could control — my own work. In the end, our project was a success and I was amazed by how my new approach helped me get the best out of the situation.
As time went on, I realized I was happier than I’ve ever been, as if I had a weight lifted off my shoulders. My mindset drastically changed and so did my lifestyle. I stood and watched as more good things began drawing into my life and how this positive mindset shaped my new reality. Throughout this journey, I’ve learned that positive self-talk is a never ending process, one that you need to feed day by day with self compassion, practice, and patience. As of right now, whenever I find myself dragging me down, I try to remember that my mind is like a magnet and what I think I will attract.